5 Ways to (Actually) Enjoy Being Snowed In

5th one best one ✌🏻

It seems as if almost everywhere in the continental United States is set to get annihilated this weekend in a record-setting winter storm.

Alright, more than half.

Still, that’s crazy.

The reports on the ground on my chaotic, beloved Long Island are what you’d expect:

Social media is awash with people fear-mongering and lamenting the snow.

I figured I’d lessen the burden here (as a longtime vet of many a blizzard) and share a little list that’ll make the most of your nature-given stay indoors.

Also….before anyone says “Easy for the Florida Man to say..”

1. I’m gonna do all this too this weekend in solidarity (with examples)

2. I’m extremely bummed I’m missing out (more on that later)

Now let’s have a little fun.

1. Relish the fact that this is normal!

It depends on how old you are, but the odds are that you’ve lived through most of the following: terrorist attacks/gigantic blackouts/mass protests in your city/life-altering hurricanes/a global pandemic.

The usual “rush to the grocery store and fret” runs that are wrought with anxiety should have that same emotion lessened by the fact what we’re experiencing this time is a normal natural occurrence that both pre-dates us by millennia and will out live us by likely that same length of time.

Insane black swan events are truly traumatic.

A foot or two of snow is not.

2. Read that book.

You know the one I’m talking about.

You bought it ~18 months ago, it’s pretty hardcover jacket has been glaring back at you from it’s throne on the bookshelf, oozing guilt into your hindbrain every time you two make eye contact.

Read that mf.

The universe has decided it’s time.

Personally, I’ll be reading Meditations by Marcus Aurelius and practicing my mean mug in the mirror while you normies gorge on hot chocolate and cookies.

In all seriousness, I’m going to reread a book I was gifted to by someone in my inner circle:

That’s right.

A book on how acting like a rhinoceros can further yourself in life.

Super quick and digestible, and spoke to my male animal brain.

Either I get a nice boost in my endeavors from the the second time around, or I turn into Cam Skattebo.

Guess we’ll find out soon enough.

3. Shameless Self-Indulgence

Absolutely nobody liked the kid in school who showed up the day after a snow day with his homework done.

I don’t care if he’s splitting the atom now or designing the airplanes that we love to track and stare at, that’s walking L behavior.

So grab whatever it is that floats your boat (in some cases, I truly don’t want to know) and have some fun.

Need ideas?

Got you:

• Curate a a playlist (btw for my Spotify friends- it only counts if you make custom cover art for it, not the bland quadrant of album covers)

• Go down a conspiracy rabbit hole (new to this? Google “Denver Airport” and have fun from there)

• Cook that big bad banger of a meal from that recipe you bookmarked on TikTok 4 months ago (whoever lives with you will love you for it)

• Mess around on Polymarket

• Get insanely deep into the lore of whatever band/series/artist is near and dear to your heart (put Stan Twitter to shame)

There’s a zillion examples.

Tune out the “this would be a really great time to do XYZ” voice and just launch into whatever your heart desires.

I’ll be indulging in every second of UFC 324 tomorrow night.

Six whole weeks we went without fights…Dana you owe us some fireworks.

4. Notice your lack of FOMO

Ah, this is the pretty one.

Almost as pretty as those fresh snowfall scenes we’ll see all over this weekend.

Basically everyone is going to be trapped inside this weekend.

There’s no IG stories to scroll, no inner-loop of “who’s doing what”, what couples look happy in their story, what couples don’t, who is where and wearing what, “should I have gone to that”, “who’s arm is in his/her story across from the table at the restaurant”….zero.

All that BS will be on pause.

Isn’t it kind of…refreshing?

We all put so much stock (even unknowingly) into what others are doing.

Rare moments like these let us “live inside ourselves” a little bit more.

It’s going to feel really good.

As for me?

I’ll be a raging hypocrite:

Be sure to send me whatever you got, I’m a big fan of the juxtaposition of traffic lights/modern infrastructure with intense weather in photos, just saying.

5. Throw a Snowball.

Bro, really…

Yeah, really.

What, you’re too cool?

Just pick one up, pat it into formation (not too icy) and let it rip.

Desired targets should be a tree or a stop sign, or a human you know (family/ significant others/friends are all fair game, FYI)

Obviously leave the moving cars alone.

If you scoffed at this last point, you’re probably the person that needs it the most.

It’s silly, harmless, and a reminder not to take all of this (or yourself) so seriously.

Nobody’s judging you from the sidelines, or analyzing your hip-to-shoulder separation while you throw it.

(You’re not Yoshi Yamamoto and neither am I 🥲)

It’s a classic exercise of symbolic release.

Think less “abject nihilism” and more “reconnecting with your inner child”.

Just make sure that release point is out in front of you with the hands atop the snowball (I’ll stop)

Go Forth and Enjoy

That’ll do it for today.

The goal here was for this not to be productivity cringe like 5 Ways to Optimize Your Snow Day!! or preachy influencer-adjacent BS.

Substack’s too littered with that these days.

I much prefer things “practical and weird”, which is probably what you were expecting anyway.

Anyhow.

These types of scenarios are rare, so why not make the most of them?

Goals, dreams, problems, to-do lists…

They’ll always be there.

As for the snow?

It always melts.

(no matter how much you get this weekend)

Love you all.

-John Abbate

1.23.2025