5 New Year's Predictions (from a terminally-online gym bro)
not the listicle...
Happy New Year, friends. Hope everyone had a safe and fun entry into 2026.
I’ve always held the belief that if you have an edge or feel confident in your research or information you’ve studied, you have an obligation to share it with those who deserve it.
So- here’s a breakdown of 5 things I believe we’ll see more of in life during ‘26.
It’s a bit weird, completely chronically online, and outside the box.
(Let’s face it- if you wanted normalcy, you’d read elsewhere)
Enjoy <3
There’s a myriad of New Year’s content online, whether it’s IG Reels, TikToks, Threads, X.
As usual, there’s awesome creators (especially here on Substack) with viewpoints and actionable advice that’s extremely helpful.
However, the bulk of New Year’s content?
Let’s keep it real- not so much.
Trending like everything else in this world, there seems to be a schism, yet another broad divide.
You either are subjected to overdone productivity mantras (10K steps a day! Drink water! Everybody who goes out and has fun is destroying their goals!) or Nihilism-tier existential crisis content about blackout texting your “situationship” at midnight.
I’m not here to lecture or to spiral.
I’m just a guy who is a veteran of countless 3AM rabbit holes, a constant IRL observer, and the owner of an absolutely bizarre (yet oddly accurate) fyp algo.
We’ll break these five into categories: Digital, Health, Financial, Social, and of course..a wildcard at the end.
Let’s start this year off right.
The Digital World
It’s not so cringe now, is it?
When you create (especially on TikTok), you’re going to get your fair share of WTF are you doing comments.
I’m not so naive as to think my own Substack hasn’t been mocked or “hate read” at certain points.
Cost of doing business for placing yourself out there in the digital realm.
However, the true cost of not building an online presence far outweighs whatever mockery you might endure from people bedrotting or snarking in group chats.
As we usher in an age of sovereignty and increased autonomy (with AI looming- more on that later), a foothold in the increasingly alluring realm of digital real estate is going to be worth its weight in gold.
Look at any of the modern titans of industry (personal opinions of them be damned): Laila and Alex Hormozi, Naval Ravikant, Grant Cardone, yes…even Andrew Tate- and they’ll tell you that online presence and content creation is going to be a staple in the new digital economy we are rapidly hurtling towards.
Online proof of knowledge and influence in your industry will soon become something you submit with your resumé.
I get that this is shocking for those of us that entered the workforce a while ago, where your digital footprint was something you buried 10 feet deep when putting yourself out there- but things have completely flipped on their head.
^ (this does conjure up nostalgia about the college acceptance “Facebook pseudonym era”, for those that remember)
Moving into 2026, your digital footprint isn’t only something to keep active, it’s actually your moneymaker.
(Provided you weren’t active on the “blue and white subscription website” or selling photos of your feet…but I guess in those cases you wouldn’t need another job, would you?)
Social
Authenticity over AI Slop
The AI boom has been immensely helpful for business and productivity, but the second order social effects have been something else.
We’re already incredibly insulated after 2020, and seems as if that social shell sadly is never going to crack.
Digital continues to stampede over IRL in every form of life, but up until a year or so ago, at least our communication was real.
Now?
Guys are posting “the dreaded HR-speak breakup texts” on Twitter where the woman sending them forgets to delete the ChatGPT “thought for 3.2 seconds” at the top of the paragraph.
That’s right- your internal emails and memos, invitations, appointment reminders, and notifications of romantic termination are all being handled by your AI overlords.
(But never this Substack ever ever ever and I promise that 🤝🏻)
The result of all this?
Somebody who can crush IRL can clean up.
This might sound insane to anyone born let’s say anywhere pre-2004, but it’s the truth.
Behavior that “came with the standard package” 10 or 15 years ago is now worth it’s weight in gold.
Can you talk on the phone, like pick up the phone and call a friend or order takeout?
Can you handle either being a patron or a client-facing role with grace and no internal hysteria?
Do you prefer congregating at restaurants and lounges over couches and basements?
If most of these were Yes, 2026 is likely going to feel as if the world is your oyster.
The value of an IRL, authentic communicator (this also counts for digital creators) will skyrocket in a world where most people either lost the ability or never had it, and most content being produced and read is cranked out by OpenAI and not another human’s brain.
Financial
Getting bull-rushed by AI, and the prediction market boom
This section probably won’t be too exciting, but it needs stating.
Us chronically online types often forget we’re being fed by algorithms that know what we like and what we’re into.
We find ourselves in like-minded echo chambers where thoughts, beliefs, and views far outside the regular norm seem commonplace to us.
This is why I’m a huge advocate of the sort of creepy (but totally helpful) act of public eavesdropping.
98% of your peer group is using ChatGPT to tell them what Harry Potter house they’d be in, or to generate an image of their last-place fantasy football finisher in a dress.
Sometimes they’ll use it to write an email (or that aforementioned breakup text from Twitter), but aside from that, the layperson on the street has no idea how strong and capable these tools are.
Without turning this into a classic business Substack “10 Ways AI is Going to Change the Workforce in 2026” type deal, just know that the machines are coming…and coming fast.
We also spoke about the rise of prediction markets last time out, and it’s all but guaranteed those will become ubiquitous.
I guess the upside is that it’ll come with increased geopolitical interest across the general population?
TL;DR- Towards the end of the year, don’t be shocked to see friends wagering their severance package from a low-intensity email job on the elections of a small Central America nation.
That’s an absurd sentence, I know…but it’ll be an even more absurd reality.
Healthy Haves and Have-nots
We spend a lot of time at the gym over here.
I’ve seen the evolution of gym culture over a decade+ now, and with the integration of social media and the effects of online fitness content, I feel pretty confident in predicting a significant divide in the general public in regards to physical fitness.
Just a few days ago, a friend and business partner of mine had me out as a guest to Lifetime (if you don’t know what it is, think GloboGym meets bougie L.A. rehab facility) for a post-Christmas workout.
A man in his 60’s working on the cable stack next to us struck up a conversation, and after we inquired about the unique bicep exercise he was doing, he proudly told us he learned it from TikTok.
Fitness has become an all-consuming realm, very much an “in or your out” cultural construct. Those that partake are inundated with content about it, and eagerly consume it.
This makes it all the more appealing to those who are in it, and equally as intimidating to outsiders.
Without repeating the article I wrote months ago, the gym used to just be something you did.
Now, with gym fits, hundreds of different splits, new supplement companies sprouting up daily…it’s become a giant fraternity.
As with anything else in modern life, from political opinions to fandoms to content that gets views- there seems to be no more middle ground.
The density is in the extremes.
Couple this with the fact that we’re more isolated and sedentary than ever, the increased cost of whole, healthy foods, and the proliferation of legal weed and other personal dopamine factories, don’t be surprised to see the appearance of individuals start to morph into a personal fitness binary system: you’re either in serious shape, or you’re seriously out of shape.
There will also be fractional downstream social effects of this as well (probably could be a whole ‘nother article).
I don’t think I gotta say what team you should try and get on 😉
Anyway, let’s wrap with a wildcard.
Are you ‘Looksmaxxing’, anon?
“I knew he was going to bring up something weird"
Well, here it is.
Looksmaxxing has become all the rage on the internet, a trend borne out of “incel forums” in the 10’s that hyperfocused on male facial and bone structure and how that applies to one’s life trajectory.
You want a second after reading that last sentence? Take one.
Anyway, yeah. Looksmaxxing hype is real and tangible, so much so that it even was brought up in the Wall Street Journal four days ago.
This isn’t your standard “eat healthy, go to the gym” type personal appearance improvement content.
These men come armed with their own jargon, know every bone in the human face, and ruthlessly rate one another based on such outlandish traits as “midface ratio” and brow structure.
This has especially come to prominence with the rise of online creator Clavicular, a 19 year old college dropout from Miami who gained notoriety after documenting his own looksmaxxing journey….which consisted of multiple jaw surgeries, leg lengthening height procedures, and so many steroid cycle blasts that he openly worries about his own fertility.
Ever since this trend started to boom, throes of young men have hit up Sephora (and their local gym’s locker room black market) looking to “ascend” so that they deem themselves attractive enough for romantic and career success.
There’s just too much energy and a perfect storm of societal circumstances to see this trend dying down any time soon.
When you female readers (love you guys) have friends calling you wondering why they’re fighting off high school boys for the setting spray and concealer at the mall in 4 months, don’t forget to tell them you heard it here first (and to subscribe).
As for any younger guys reading this?
I’ve been playing the game (and gotten damn good at it) for awhile.
The amount of times a girl told me she liked my “hunter eyes”?
(yes I couldn’t resist running my own face through AI to test it, shoot me)
Zero.
Contrarily, if I had a dollar for every time I was told “it’s cool how you kinda play by your own rules in life”?
I could buy the next girl dinner.
It’s more about what you are than what you look like.
Sephora’s still valid, tho.
Just buy normal stuff, like a good moisturizer.
Wrapping Up
All things considered, I’m excited for 2026.
I never want to doomerpoast on here, because with an ever-changing, unprecedented social/digital environment also comes massive opportunity.
It just so happens that modern times and the accompanying trends have mutated into never before seen realms and amalgamations we never though possible.
It is, if nothing else, a lot of fun.
Maybe these 5 predictions hold, maybe they won’t (they will).
That being said, if your aunt claims “you’re in a cult” because you’re prioritizing leg day tomorrow?
If your friend who does tarot card readings as a hobby blows up to 100K followers and banks multi-five figure months?
If your 15 year old cousin begs you to drive him to the mall because he hit the “total rounds” under for the UFC main event on Polymarket and he wants to stock up on Glossier’s Super Glow?
Just remember you heard it all here first.
Things are moving quickly out there.
We’re gonna have a lot of fun in ‘26.
Happy New Year, and love always.
-John Abbate
1.3.2026
“Maybe these 5 predictions hold, maybe they won’t (they will).” Love the confidence here and loved the article!!
Been looking forward to John’s next release! Happy New Year’s and congrats on starting strong with a great article