Your Coffee Brand and Your Car are Getting Freaky on Main

a quick spooky Substack

Some people really love Halloween.

I’m not one of them.

Tim Burton characters, scary movie advertisements, spiders everywhere…give me the jolly joy of Christmas instead.

However, the culture and business nerd in me…that guy really enjoys Halloween.

It’s a day that doesn’t hold the weight and pressure of the chaotic capitalistic free-for-fall that is BFCM/Christmas season shopping, but allows for enough of a theme and vibe that brands can market around it.

NHL and NFL teams posting Jack O’Lantern themed graphics, flash specials in fast food apps with fun names, the list goes on.

It’s fun and lighthearted, if a little predictable.

Then came Dunkin’ out of absolutely nowhere today:

This is completely unhinged in the best way.

It might be a seemingly innocuous envelope-pushing post from a brand that’s pretty large in stature for such things, but I think it runs deeper.

It’s cultural overcorrection from stale marketing slogans, a cartoonish overemphasis on inclusivity, and a forced adherence to militant PC culture.

While a 2021 style ad might feature a group of 15 different people from every conceivable background they can jam into the photo, 2025’s advertisements are here to say “F it…we’re shitpoasting on the main account with sexual brainrot”.

Is it appropriate?

Probably not.

Does it likely make sense to ~75% of Dunkin’s 2.9MM IG followers?

Also no.

Is it absolutely, refreshingly authentic in a unique way?

Hell yeah.

Therein lies the beauty.

So, who does get it?

Dunkin’ knows their core audience on social media.

They’re not pretending to be something they’re not.

Who is buying Halloween themed munchkins and cartoon purple spiders on a donut and pairing it with overflavored sugar bomb cold brews?

Mike and Ronnie from Lowell probably don’t even have IG.

They just want to slam large hot coffees and muffins in the truck while they argue about Drake Maye’s third-down decision making.

But Jules and Kaitlyn over at UMass who are gonna write in “the girls chat ✨” about how slamming down 2 donuts apiece makes them “big backs”?

They’re all over it.

Dunkin’ knows this- and so do other household name brands:

I was a little surprised to see a sandwich chain, Jimmy John’s, showing some restraint while Jeep (yes, that Jeep, the car our friends/parents/colleagues drive) start bragging about dominance in backseat activities.

This is social media marketing now, like it or not.

A nice serving of Friday evening cultural observation.

PC and milquetoast “greyed out” logos are on the way out.

Terminally online suggestive lexicon with a dash of memetic absurdity is in.

As they say in the cold brew infused group chats:

I’m here for it.

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Closing out, if you needed any further proof this worked, Dunkin’ was quick to prepare merch after this post took off, which obviously speaks to its success:

DAD 2 NONE, DADDY 2 ALL is screaming out at me.

Too bad it’s got a spider on it, no can do.

I just hope they keep this same energy at Christmastime.

(Just please…leave Mrs. Claus out of it)

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Enjoy your weekend, wherever that may be.

(maybe the backseat!)

I’ll stop.

🖤

-John Abbate

17.10.2025

PS- Dunkin’s use of “ghostin” was enough of an excuse to end with this one:

Just pure art.