Sunday Essays #6: Yapper's Delight

the future of the gift of gab

Much is made these days of being a “yapper”.

It’s declared as a personality trait, an often used self-describing noun heard in many a TikTok street interview or Hinge prompt.

Does it conjure up the best imagery?

Probably not.

Like everything else on earth, “being a yapper” gets pigeonholed or stereotyped.

Look, I get it- a lot of us hear the word and envision Sarah who works in HR loudly oversharing and trauma dumping after one too many espresso martinis at whatever hotspot the algorithm decided was cool that week.

It isn’t the prettiest sight (I’m also admittedly guilty of doing everything I can to get out of the “blast radius” of such types when I’m out), and you’d be justified to recoil.

But yappers come in all shapes, sizes, and backgrounds… and their Golden Age just may be upon us.

Broadcasting vs. Conversing

Technological advancement has given everyone a camera and a microphone, for better or for worse.

We broadcast at one another incessantly…but do we really listen anymore?

Perhaps it’s the downstream effects of mainstream media “shouting heads” culture that’s to blame, perhaps it’s the constant state of heightened cortisol we’ve collectively lived in since ~2016.

We can spend all day trying to point the finger (and make ourselves insane in the process).

The fact of the matter is, somewhere along the way, conversation got demoted.

I’ve always said my greatest pet peeve used to be pretty niche.

No, it isn’t a standard issue one like bad drivers or waiting in line.

Nothing gets under my skin more than when I’m speaking with someone and get the vibe they just cannot wait for the sound of my voice to stop so that they can get their .02 in.

It’s something I thought would dissipate with age, or at least its rate of occurrence would be inversely proportional to the development of my shoulder-to-waist ratio (ok that part does kinda track tbh).

Still, it’s mildly infuriating when it does occur…and now it happens on a grand scale.

Vomiting Making Cold Calls

I come from a commercial real estate background, and a large part of that job consists of spending time on the phone.

There’s been firms I’ve worked at that weren’t too far from The Wolf of Wall Street, without the cool stuff like the Friday afternoon debauchery or women who looked like Margot Robbie.

I’ve trained my fair share of new brokers.

There was literally a time when I was tasked with showing a new guy the ropes and let’s just say it didn’t go so great.

Staring at the list of prospective buyers for a listing I had, this particular young man ran off to the bathroom and literally lost his lunch at the idea of having to perform cold outreach over the phone for the better part of a morning.

At first this was baffling, until I realized that a large majority of the population would find such a task intimidating (but hopefully not to that physical extreme).

Communication at a high level (or even proficient level) isn’t exactly inherent for most people.

That’s totally ok.

We’re not downing anybody here, but it would also be naive to say that the state of the “average communicator” coupled with our digital advancement is setting the stage for the chatters and charismatic among us.

“Claude, call my mother”

We spoke last time out about AI, and how it’s changing basically everything.

That’s true.

The realm of communication has not been an exemption.

Cold emails, marketing funnels, SMS campaigns…the list of AI automated communication tasks can circle the globe.

The one thing you still can’t outsource?

Conversation.

Sure, we might have voice-mimicking software, the type of stuff people use on IG to make Trump rap Crazy Story Pt. 3 or scammers use to call your grandmother and tell her you’re trapped in a Central African hostage bunker and need $5,000 immediately to get home.

The fact remains: real conversation resists automation.

Have We Forgotten About Emotion?

I’d argue with confidence that conversational ability not only can’t be automated, it’s multiplying rapidly in value.

The reasoning?

The big why?

It’s in the abstract.

It’s in the emotion.

Energy, Momentum, and Resonance

Ah, you knew we’d end up here, admit it.

While we get lost in streamlining workflows and automating tasks, while our timelines and fyp’s are awash with optimize this, data feedback on that.. the core drivers of human emotion and interaction seem to have become an afterthought.

This is a tremendous oversight.

Conversing isn’t just about how the words said read back to you on speech-to-text.

The magic and impact lies in the delivery, in the establishment of trust, in the unspoken but wholly felt human element.

Ask any salesperson worth their salt, and they’ll tell you sales is more a transfer of feeling than it is numbers and X’s and O’s.

We’ve seen these examples with big brands a thousand times over, often from cookie cutter Threads accounts or (funnily enough) AI-narrated Reels:

Rolex doesn’t sell timekeeping, it sells luxury.

Ferrari doesn’t just sell you cars, it sells you an exclusive experience.

John’s Substack doesn’t give you cultural updates, it champions your autonomy amongst the madness (😉).

Conversation is much of the same.

It’s how fruitful business relationships start, how historically great teammates “click”, the literal first step in the reproductive process that put all of us on this planet in the first place.

People who can yap can inject energy,

If I asked you to scroll your contacts and pick out the people you feel “drain the room” and then do the very same thing with those that uplift it, I already know the former list would dwarf the latter.

The scarcity of communication skills that land, that energize- this is what gives it the value.

Objects in motion tend to stay in motion, or something like that.

I do know that any movement, collective, political party etc. that has changed the course of history had a person at the forefront that not only could provide energy, but sustain that into momentum so powerful that entire communities and followers rose up around them.

The talkers, the communicators, the gifted conversationalists- they don’t resonate as much for what they say so much as how you feel understood by their words themselves.

The finest, most thought out 200 IQ brainchild AI prompt can spit out the best written speech or presentation you’ve ever read…but it can’t deliver it.

It can’t change tonality, play with timing and dead air, slip in an impromptu one-liner.

That’s where the magic lies.

Hanging Up the Phone

People like to tease poke and prod the talkers among us.

Perhaps that’s just human nature- a person is changing your immediate environment, introducing emotionality, taking the reigns.

That causes a reaction.

This is simply one of many reactions to feeling something.

Isn’t it nice to feel something?

In an age where we are siloed like never before?

Where we see our favorite characters on whatever it is we’re streaming more than our own families, when the “leave at door” instructions make it feel like our dinners get delivered by literal ghosts?

We automate workflows and content schedules and everything else.

IRL communication remains stubbornly human.

Those that can master it?

That’s leverage no LLM tool can cook up for you.

So be kind to the yapper in your life, they’re gonna become far more essential than you ever realized.

Their ship is certainly coming into port.

I just hope they let the writers on, too.

---

Love you guys 🫶🏻

-John Abbate

2.22.2026