How Are Your Friends Doing?
playing the video game of life.
2025 is almost a month old.
It’s always tempting as a writer to crank out a “New Year’s Listicle”, but I’m sure you had your fill of 5 Things I’m Leaving in 2024 type content.
Sometimes the best play is no play at all- just sitting back and watching it all unfold.
This was my feeling about the Inauguration- while the spectacle of modern political theatre never ceases to amaze (and be an evergreen fountain for potential content), there’s something about congestion on the digital highway that makes covering something unappealing.
(I think this is the part where I insert the viral early-2010’s hipster meme.)
There was also the Luigi Mangione incident, which certainly was intriguing from a writing perspective, but that too was pretty sufficiently covered.
(All I’ll say is that it seems young, put-together Italian guys with significant spinal issues can go one of two ways: committing a globally recognized assassination, or writing a little niche Substack blog about his weird yet interesting life….luckily we’re here. )
The other day I had to navigate the digital realm known as LinkedIn, which always leaves me with a taste in my mouth akin to what I imagine chewing Tylenol is like.
The canned auto-click comments, the pictures with the ties, all of it.
It’s just not for me.
Rarely do you come across anything on there of merit or that really jumps out at you.
However, there was a term that I came across on more than a couple posts (and had seen on Twitter/X) as well: Human Capital.
What on Earth?
Here’s an actual definition before we move forward:
“Human capital is the knowledge, skills, and other personal characteristics that people possess that help them be productive. It's an intangible asset that can be improved through education, training, and other investments.
Human capital is considered an asset that can generate a flow of services, which are often measured as earnings. It's perceived to increase productivity and profitability, and is a critical asset for businesses.”
It’s commodifying at its best, dehumanizing on the other end.
We’ve become so entrenched in our lifestyles and used to bowing to the throne of the almighty “bottom line” that we seem to have lost the plot along the way.
Look, this is certainly a pro-business publication, no hiding that. A few clicks around the stack’s homepage will tell you that, and I’m proud of it.
However, the thought that striving for your goals and being not being a total sociopath along the way can’t be mutually exclusive is just not the way.
This language permeates the tl quite often, especially in business circles.
You see people pigeonholing themselves into “human capital” in advice seeking threads all the time:
“ 28M, $200K TC in tech looking for lateral move, what companies should I be looking at for a move”
The replies are often equally as bare bones and stale as the OP’s inquiry- focused on compensation and bonus packages with little or no regard for the faceless poster behind the initial question itself.
I see these types of threads and always ask myself, well what does this person enjoy?
Is the entrepreneurial or consulting route an option?
How about a desired area to live?
Alas, this would probably be drowned out by the droning choruses encouraging a move from FAANG Company A to FAANG Company B for a $50K increase in TC.
It’s sort of tragic.
Can’t be the Catcher in the Rye, but let’s not let such a mindset seep into our personal lives. So, in restating our title…
How Are Your Friends Doing?
It doesn’t take very many finger flicks refreshing your X app to come across a type of thread that has also dominated the tl the last 6 months:
“Here’s 10 American jobs that will be lost to AI in the next 18 months”
Or even better, the fearmongering, clickbaity type:
“If you haven’t implemented AI to your business model, you are *behind* and here’s why"
Look, AI is awesome.
I love ChatGPT, and having a grip on these modern tools is certainly an edge.
Still, I will not succumb to the doomsday prophecies that we will be relegated to skill-less vessels, the uniqueness of our respective human elements deemed worthless to the power of the almighty machines.
People flame right-leaning Twitter for the phrase “They want you to eat bugs and live in the pod”, but if you zoom out, it’s almost as if we want to put ourselves in there.
Self-incarceration, if you will.
It’s been done to death, but we know how things have changed in a post-Pandemic world: people don’t go out as much, UberEats and DoorDash provide you sustenance without the rigors of interacting with the outside world, so on and so forth.
This leads me to my favorite phrase: Soft skills rule the world.
See, in an era of digital hyperconnectivity and unprecedented convenience, one would thing the value of soft skills would diminish.
Simple laws of supply and demand would tell you that’s simply not true.
We crave human interaction and the ability to connect IRL moreso now than ever before- the rarity of competent interpersonal interaction lends itself to its increasing value.
I spoke about this anecdotally on my last Elevated Thoughts appearance, where a younger friend of mine secured a job after an interview where she felt she had done poorly.
If she felt her technical skills or answers to the questions were lacking, then how was she able to secure the position?
Simple- she was told: “You came in here and were able to have a conversation with us, and that was huge”.
Maybe the TikTok girls were right all along- the bar is on the floor.
The problem is, not only has our social climate changed, but we also succumb to the demands of what I call the “polytheism of Productivity”.
We’ve all been guilty of this at some point, and it’s no way to live.
If something isn’t good for the bottom line or advancing us in some way, we eschew it as a waste of time. It’s something each of us know all too well, and we should be more forgiving upon ourselves for falling into the trap here and there- as long as we’re cognizant of the fact it’s not a place to hang our hats for the long term.
Recently, I was out to lunch with my mom (something I really enjoy), and we got on the topic of my phone going off all the time.
I started to read out the different variations of what was coming into my inbox on a Saturday afternoon:
“I just had a great workout, what should I eat?”
“I have a sinus infection and I’m freaking out”
“Off to Isles Leafs, you think we get anything out of tonight?”
(Gets sent a flurry of IG Reels/ Tik Tok’s that would land me in Guantanamo Bay)
“Did you buy XYZ token like I said to??”
None of these move the needle in any aspect of my life on paper, save for the shitcoin punts.
The enjoyment is in the lost art of our human connection, and the varied experiences going on in our lives.
All of these random conversations (save for my friend who was down bad with the sinus thing) led to IRL meetups- workouts, a hockey game, drinks out to discuss other topics that would also get us put in Guantanamo Bay, sessions in the Solana trenches together.
As we segue into this new amalgamation of American culture- a type of “grinding in isolation”, it’s worth bearing in mind that maintaining and creating relationships borne out of the human element are what’s going to provide us true value down the line- monetarily or not.
Having said that, let’s take a look at the monetary side of things, and how this all plays into that.
Play the Video Game
There’s a trusty white board I’ve got that’s been with me on pretty much my entire journey. Written atop it, in the same original marker that’s since been long lost, is a mantra I use:
(Also, yes- that recent addition is in reference to the infamous Elon Musk/Parag Agarwal email leaks…it’s just an all-timer IMO)
This goes back to a tweet thread I saw way back that advised seeing yourself as a video game character.
If you think about it, it’s ingenious.
It takes your ego and overthinking right out of the process.
If you’re playing a roleplaying game and your character needs an upgrade or to do a side quest, you just do it.
There’s no second thoughts about “how does my character look doing this” or “what would XYZ person think”.
A framework that has helped immensely, for sure.
Let’s say you needed a switch up in locale or to expand your business (IRL example here). Tangible life brings about concerns about logistics or outside opinions, the inevitable hemming and hawing of the overactive mind.
If you were just controlling yourself as a video game character, the actions needed to move forward would’ve been done days, weeks, or months ago.
“Oh I should really do this!”
Click.
“Okay, done”.
Simple as.
^ Just don’t get carried away with it.
As useful as this framework has been, I’ve learned to amend it to tie back into the overarching thesis of this article.
PVP vs. PVE
Any game would find this comparison rudimentary, but if you’re not a gamer (honestly good for you), I’ll break it down quick:
Player Vs. Player PVP games are exactly as they sound- online gaming where it’s you vs. the world, and everybody is cutthroat and out to get their own. Think PUBG, Fortnite, FIFA H2H, etc.
Player Vs. Environment PVE are also exactly as they sound, maybe less obvious. It’s you and yours vs. a common enemy or boss, or working to achieve the same goal. Think Minecraft, World of Warcraft, etc.
Now as an actual gamer (Yes, I’m a gamer)= give me PVP all day long.
Few things can be as gratifying (juvenile as it sounds) as aerial dunking on someone’s head in Rocket League, or dressing up as a banana or Ariana Grande and using a sniper from 150 meters out to unalive a kid born the same year I got a driver’s license in Fortnite.
Don’t even get me started on my 2010’s, banned from XBOX Live 3 separate times FIFA Ultimate Team shenanigans (what was I supposed to do, not buy coins?!)
Since I was partial to PVP IRL, I initially tied this into my framework that everyone was an opponent.
Was it effective?
Sure.
Healthy?
Not remotely.
It wasn’t til I took a step back and looked at the bigger picture and realized that essentially, life is PVE.
It’s about connecting with your inner circle and having those raw, real moments of interaction that provide the fuel to the engine of our ambition, even as the modern world does everything it can to try and make those bonds fray at the seams.
That conversation with your friend about last night’s hockey game can warm you up for the phones to make business calls.
Helping out your friend who is sick ties into the empathetical side of us- and perhaps you’ll wonder “I wonder if this person isn’t feeling well, too” when somebody in the biz arena starts barking at you, instead of firing back.
Absolutely non-PC, soulless humor at the bar on Saturday can provide enough joy and happiness to trod through a challenging weekly schedule.
There’s a legion of examples, but the underlying tenet remains the same- the interaction of your inner circle as individual humans going through life infinitely trumps the PVP mindset of viewing ourselves and everyone else as human capital biomass.
Plus, in PVE?
You get a W, and guess what happens?
Everybody in your circle gets a win, too.
That’s kinda cool.
Get carried, tho.
(Kidding)
10 Questions and Coffee
I’m excited for tomorrow morning- there will be a new segment I’ve dubbed 10 Questions where I interview people from my life who are interesting, accomplished, opinionated, and on their own unique trajectory in life.
We’ll start with my guy “Caesar” (not his name, he’s gotta use an alias) a high-powered young NYC consultant with an awful lot of things to say about our political climate and the coming few years in American business.
Technically speaking, he’s just great human capital.
🤪
Perceptive eyes would notice “I dedicated every damn thing to this!” on the white board photo from a few paragraphs up, that’s a shoutout to the song I’ve started every morning of every business day of my career with.
It might not be your speed, but that’s ok.
I’m sure there’s somebody else on your team that can appreciate it.
See you in the morning <3
-John Abbate
25.1.2025