Eat the Crunchwrap Supreme!

the joy of selective impulsivity.

You ever get a massage?

No, not that kind of massage.

A legitimate hour of soft tissue manipulation that works out each and every last knot and hotspot you’ve managed to work into your body through the mental and physical rigors of life.

If you haven’t, it’s something that would be atop my list of personal health recommendations.

If you have, then you already know about the soothing (yet exhausting) release of pent up physiological tension and the ensuing catharsis that accompanies it.

There’s also a massive wave of fatigue and hunger that comes after, and while you should really drink water and have a complete meal comprised of all the major macronutrients afterwards, that was the last thing on my mind on the particular evening I got my last massage.

See, the thing is, my massage place…it’s right next to a Taco Bell.

My beat up body and my heightened senses were no match for the wafting scents of faux-Mexican goodness that were emanating from the purple and white building next door.

(Quick aside- you ever see an old Taco Bell building? Talk about vintage aesthetics. Fast food chains are much like NHL Hockey teams in the way that both groups logos and branding were infinitely cooler two decades ago)

I rest my case.

Also, Taco Bell- not the greatest Net Lease tenant. Gotta be careful with the operator and keep an eye on store sales, but you can get a favorable cap rate if you look hard enough.

But we aren’t here to talk commercial real estate today.

Back to the task at hand.

I wanted a Crunchwrap Supreme. No, scratch that- I craved it.

I couldn’t tell you the last time I had one- my age probably started with a “1” and it was probably about 3 in the morning, but here I was a full-fledged adult during normal waking hours, hellbent on indulging in the messy goodness of whatever amalgamation of ingredients a Crunchwrap is comprised of.

So I did it.

I “nourished” my body with the 540 calorie snack, which included 73 grams of carbs and an unholy 1210mg of sodium (🫠).

Was it a smart nutritional choice, especially given the situation?

Hell no.

If I did it everyday, would it wreck my body comp and mess with my health?

Absolutely.

Was it wildly hypocritical, especially given what I preach on this Substack?

1000%.

How did I feel afterwards?

Free as a bird and high on life.

“It’s Just a Snack, Bro”

Ah, but was it?

I’d argue that it was an expression of something that I’ve come to describe as selective impulsivity, which has greatly aided my personal mental wellbeing and I’d bet would greatly help with yours as well.

There’s a certain control and self-satisfaction that comes with minor indulgence, especially when it’s something we view as “bad”.

It scratches an itch that lies within all of us: the human need for small, safe rebellion in a highly structured world, accompanied by the nurturing aspect of self-care, even if on a minor scale.

The girls seem to have this on lock instinctually with their sweet treats, but for some reason, the guys seem to lag behind.

David Goggins isn’t going to pop out from behind a tree and beat your ass for ordering dessert once in a blue moon, my man.

It Doesn’t Have to Be Food

Selective impulsivity can take many forms, and as long as it isn’t breaking the bank, putting you under the influence, or (above citation level) illegal, it’s a good idea to go for it once and a while.

More Examples of Selective Impulsivity

The Siesta: Sometimes, you need a nap. Now, if this is a daily occurrence, it’s an issue. You’re going to want to be awake for all of the business hours of the day, that’s kind of a base level expectation.

However, should you find yourself midday of an 18 hour day that started with a 7AM breakfast meeting and ends with taking clients to a hockey game with an ensuing late-night dinner afterwards, you might need that quick 35 minute round of zzz’s.

This leads me to the biggest key aspect of selective impulsivity- owning it.

Old me would’ve absolutely hated myself for closing my eyes in the middle of the day.

Guilt, mental self-flagellation, macho BS self-talk nonsense, the whole 9.

You learn sooner rather than later (and sometimes the hard way, as I referenced in an earlier article) that such mental frameworks and methodology of operation is both mentally unhealthy and unsustainable.

Long story short, I powered down my phone, made my room nice and cool and enjoyed a little over a half an hour of blissful unconsciousness.

The result?

More mental acuity, being able to be completely present and good company at the night’s events. and a sense of accomplishment in overcoming the way I would’ve viewed such an activity in earlier times.

It was both liberating and a much needed lesson.

Also, guess what?

The world didn’t end between 2:47 PM and 3:25 PM.

Nobody asked me to come save Gotham City.

I missed like, two phone calls.

Addition via Subtraction: Sometimes it isn’t what we do, but what we don’t that leads to a release of tension and a mini-adventure.

Let’s say you have a banger of a workout queue’d up for later in the day.

It’s Monday, aka International Chest Day.

You’re going to meet your boy and get the skin-tearing pump and the accompanied elation that comes with a lift well done.

As you start to throw on your gym clothes, you come to a damning realization- you just don’t have it today.

You’ve missed two meals, you’re dehydrated af, body is tense…all signs point to a injury and/or a bad sesh in the lab.

Screw it. Maybe today is the day to go on a 5 mile walk, all the way listening to a favorite podcast you haven’t kept up with, or calling a couple friends you haven’t spoken to in a while.

Maybe it’s a day to hit a yoga flow, or go home and work on something creative instead of physical.

Again, the same themes remain: don’t make it a habit, but embrace the mini-chaos and fun of atypical personal behavior.

“Addition via Subtraction” can apply in a myriad of ways, the workout example is just one.

Perhaps it’s kindly no-showing an event you just have no interest in going to (not a wedding or something big lol, though are more than a few weddings I wish I blew off…), or the reverse: going on a solo adventure to a local show or something in nature if that’s your thing.

There’s something to be said for an infrequent unburdening of the self by postponing a non-essential task or obligation.

Wear the Denim Jacket: If there’s one thing that drives me a little nuts amongst a majority of the people I know, it’s the lack of self-expression.

This isn’t meant to sound judgy, but rather encouraging: all you have to do is peel back a layer or two with someone via conversation in order to see what lights them up.

All too often, we see what we’re passionate about as a vulnerable soft underbelly in an increasingly critical world full of keyboard warriors.

This is (not to be overly dramatic) a tragedy of sorts.

A friend of mine is super into her adult coloring books.

I could hear the sheepishness in her voice when she admitted this on a phone call one summer evening. I immediately got a little confrontational-

What is there to be embarrassed about?!

She sent me photos of her work and her setup, fully kitted out with pencils and pastels of every imaginable color.

The works were lively and colorful and striking.

I was adamant with her that it was inspiring, top-notch work and that she should unapologetically keep doing it.

Everybody has his or her thing.

Mine is clothing. I love clothes.

Kanye West was told as a kid “When you see clothes, close your eyelids”.

I should’ve been told the same thing, but he clearly didn’t listen (and I wouldn’t have, either).

Recently, I was dressed in my favorite denim jacket during a work day. It wasn’t a client facing day and I had nothing but calls on the calendar. My team and I decided to pop out to a new restaurant that a notable local group had just opened, right in the heart of Long Island’s unofficial “business district”.

The “mature” (whatever that means) thing to do would’ve been to lose the jacket and make myself a bit more “professional” (again, whatever that means) but I decided against it.

I rocked my trusty Levi’s jacket that’s been through hell and back with me (it’s seen some things) out to a business lunch, where I ran into my principal broker and several other older guys, heavy hitter whale types.

Did I feel out of place or like I made an error?

Not for one moment.

That’s the true joy of selective impulsivity, whether it’s a change in plans or cheating on your diet or wearing what you want- it lends itself to authenticity. You’re staying true to yourself and therefore showing up as your best self as a result.

I ended up having great conversations and making some good connections, all the while feeling good in the process.

The trusty bathroom mirror selfie 💀

Closing Out

I hope this helps, or stokes a little internal flame to give into those minor urges that come up in the not-so-distant recesses of your mind.

Obviously, I’m not saying to take it overboard and neglect personal relationships or wellbeing or act completely erratically, but if you want to lean into a little unique self-care here and there, you’d be best served to go for it.

A little selective impulsivity can be a fun addition and reprieve to our overly connected and overly regimented lives.

You never know who you meet or what you learn about yourself along the way.

Maybe you just want to slam down some Taco Bell.

Whatever floats your boat- who am I (or anyone else) to judge?

Talk soon.

Love always,

John Abbate

15.9.2024