My First Conversation in Florida

Fresh off of my trek down to the gulf coast in the early days of my relocation, I figured the smartest thing to do would be to introduce myself to my next door neighbor.

Here I was, a stranger in a strange land.

Most Long Islanders inhabit the east coast of FL: Boca, Delray, etc.

(Fun fact that I learned far too recently- this is because of the Interstate system before air travel became so prolific. 75 from the Midwest takes you down the west coast, 95 outta the Northeast takes you down the east coast)

Makes sense that my next door neighbor was originally from Michigan.

Does not make sense that I was a native Long Islander.

Anyway, he turned out to be a great guy- he lived there with his wife and newborn son.

As for our chat, the first conversation I had in Florida that wasn’t with a Zyn-dealing gas station attendant or a cute barista during a pit stop?

I remember it vividly.

There were the usuals, the standards.

So man, what do you do for work?

Where you going to work out around here?

How was the drive?

Usual friendly, cordial, “two people who are gonna be living next to each other feeling each other out” type stuff.

Then he hit me with it, right at the end:

“John, let me ask you- how’s your relationship with the Lord?”

Shit, man.

I don’t know.

What was I even supposed to say?

I guess I fudged something, but the truth was I was caught by a straight right I didn’t see coming.

The Classically Trained Catholic

In theory, I should’ve been a world-class believer.

I came up through as classic and traditional a pipeline an American Christian possibly can.

Catholic school from K-8, prestigious all boys Catholic school for Grade 9 (our authority issues-having hero didn’t exactly thrive there), had all my sacraments right on time.

I should’ve been bossing the midfield of adulthood faith like the veritable spiritual La Masia product I was…but at some point, the wheels came off.

Perhaps it was around college, or sometime after.

There were sparks of it in the late 10’s- I always made sure to get my ashes on Ash Wednesday, my Lenten adherence never wavered.

Nonetheless, it never became habit.

Invoking God in Cold Calls

My neighbor conversation was, unbeknownst to me at the time, a canary in the coal mine for what was to come.

I distinctly remember sitting in my Florida real estate office, newly-minted FL license hanging over my desk (first try on the test btw, real ones know), helping an older colleague bang out lead calls on a multifamily listing he had trouble moving.

Most of these calls were to investment groups or family offices in Florida that bought in the area.

I was in utter disbelief at the responses I was getting.

Hey, not for us at this time, God bless you though.

Sure, send over the OM- have a blessed day.

Hey, gotta thank God for another beautiful day, anyway yeah run me through the NOI.

Listen, Long Island isn’t some godless place, but the invocation of faith inside a business environment was downright foreign to me.

Cold calls back home?

If you made your “50 by lunch”, you better have been told to unalive yourself in three different ways or to go insert a random item into your body, or else you weren’t trying.

It was culture shock.

Naturally, this caused me to keep an ear to the ground regarding faith in-house.

It wasn’t unusual for Monday morning water cooler talk to involve Church, in fact it was the norm.

We tried the new sushi place on Siesta Key Saturday night, then we had a luncheon at our Church after Mass on Sunday.

It wasn’t virtue signaling, or “look at how devout I am”.

Zero percent performative.

It just….was.

Super Rainy Ash Wednesday 2025

It was Ash Wednesday in 2025, marked by a typical "outta nowhere” Florida downpour.

I Google’d “Churches near me” and found out I was in luck- there was a Catholic Church walkable from my office.

So, off I went.

Except this time, it was different.

After getting my forehead inscribed, I sought out the first man of the cloth I could find after I said my prayers.

I ended up finding a deacon in his mid-40’s, affable dude, super friendly.

“Tryna talk to God, but I’m afraid because we ain’t spoke in so long..

Basically the white boy version of that ^

Essentially, I asked the deacon how do I get back into this?

I’ll admit I was expecting to be judged.

To have to perform some sort of penance or whatever.

That’s not at all what happened.

“Just show up, man. See how you feel when you do that.”

Those were my instructions.

Delivered with a smile and a story about how he strayed so far from his current standing in the Church that he was an atheist at one point.

Okay, seems easy enough, I thought.

Turns out it wasn’t.

Holden Caulfield Sings the Blues

It seems ridiculous in hindsight, but my tentativeness tracks back to what I was seeing on social media at the time.

Christianity was starting to come roaring back.

It was becoming “cool”.

Like anything else that becomes “cool”, it became influencer-adjacent.

Bodybuilding, cooking, Fortnite, doesn’t matter- if people do it, there’s an influencer market for it.

Whatever spiritual gusto I had received from my mound visit with the deacon was dampened by what I was seeing on the fyp and my timelines.

Dudes filming themselves driving with the Rosary intertwined on the hand that’s on the steering wheel.

Girls filming themselves tearing up during Adoration.

The tsunami of “tradwife” content.

Former roster members proclaiming they’ve now given their lives to Jesus (let’s just say I’m happy I met them before that).

The hilarious yet puzzling juxtaposition of Tampa Hinge girls answering the “what I’m looking for” prompt with “a man with a relationship with Jesus” sandwiched in between two separate bikini-clad photos of their ass on boats.

I don’t say any of this to judge, but if I’m being honest?

The modern incarnation of faith felt…off.

Performative.

It all seemed, in the essence of this passage’s namesake, so phony.

So, what turned the tide?

Let’s Talk About Waco.

I’ve touched on gaining popularity on TikTok Live in 2025.

One of the best aspects of that run was the fact I got to make friends from all across the country.

The closest to me is arguably my friend from Waco, Texas.

We’ll call her “B”, for anonymity.

B is an early/mid 20’s woman who grew up in the heart of the Bible Belt.

Naturally, I considered her to be an asset in the “John reconnects with his faith” mission.

Little did I know the path I was about to go down.

She was always talking about her church, how she went often, how she and her friends studied scripture together.

That’s when I pried for more information:

So like, what’s Mass like for you guys?

She laughed.

Oh, it’s not Mass..it’s service!

So you’re not Christian?

No of course I am, I’m just not Catholic.

Okay cool, so what are you?

I’m non-denom.

Non de- what?

Just like that, class was in session.

I learned about different interpretations of faith, Bible study, leaders within the Church.

KJV, NIV…these weren’t foreign intelligence agencies, these were Bibles.

(Also, the NIV is a lot easier to read and is now my go-to).

Suddenly, I was awakened to a whole new perspective on faith.

B’s wasn’t as structured, or sacramental, or black and white.

It was almost like..based on vibes?

That’s not me denigrating it- that’s me extolling it.

It seemed personal, flexible…more about the people you are on the journey with rather than placing yourself on trial every time you step into prayer.

I had my eyes opened in a big way.

Faith wasn’t “one size fits all”.

It was more abstract, more holistic, with an emphasis on the growth of the individual .

B sent me videos from her services, and I was struck by the raw joy.

Music, singing, embracing, storytelling.

Sure, I wasn’t loving the sweatpants and sweatshirts in the congregation (this is a guy who is pulling for UConn over UM next week if only bc Dan Hurley’s blazers > Dusty May’s zip-ups), but personal proclivities aside, I had been given an entirely new perspective on this journey I was trying to go on.

It’s not so much about rule-following, or perfection, or feeling forsaken- it’s a journey of personal betterment to be shared with those close to you.

That I could get down with.

So, that Sunday, armed with a new mindset…off to Church we went.

“Well, I didn’t spontaneously combust, so that’s a start.”

That was my response to my deacon friend’s “So, how’d it go?!” when we caught up outside after my first Mass back.

We were able to laugh about it, but there was some truth to that.

I mean, looking around, it had been awhile since my last non- Christmas/Easter/funeral/wedding Mass.

And what did I do in that time, especially recent to that specific day in late Spring 2025?

Was Jesus smiling down at how I was moving in 2024 and early 2025?

Was Jesus loving my NYC summer rooftop BS, or ICSC poolside shenanigans, or the 4AM St. Pete nights?

Probably not!

Looking around the congregation, who was I to even be there?!

Clean cut I-75 types.

Dudes with families.

Floral dresses en masse.

I felt like the Prodigal Son.

Repetition Leads to Revelation

For better or for worse, I can be extremely stubborn.

I wasn’t gonna leave Mass that day on that note and not come back and try to turn this whole thing around.

So that’s exactly what I did the next week.

And the week after that, and the week after that.

Slowly, the tide began to turn.

Sure, maybe the family men and clean-shaven Lululemon golf dudes in the pews led a lifestyle that had been a bit more PG.

The floral dress girlies might be a bit more wholesome than my beloved “iced coffee and resting bitch face” contingent.

Didn’t mean I had any less of a right to be there.

After all, what was I chasing?

I wanted to be integrated.

To improve as a man, which in turn makes me a better son/brother/friend/etc.

I mean, look at my colleagues.

They had a lightness about them when they spoke about attending Church.

It was a spiritually cleansing experience, a stepladder to a better you.

I wasn’t doing this for likes, to posture on IG, to use it as a “mouse trap” to get a significant other.

There was a mantra I came up with along this path:

Perfectly imperfect.

Fast Forward to the Present

It turns out heading back to Church was just the entry point.

As I said above- this wasn’t for likes. The phone stayed off in my pocket.

Mass attendance turned into group texts with my friends (some who have always had strict adherence to their faith, some who are comeback stories like me) chopping it up about whatever the homily was or how we felt afterwards.

FaceTime’s with B where she would read me a verse and actually be able to interpret it and give me the lesson from it.

Faith was becoming a facet of daily life, not just an hour in a jacket and a buttondown on a Sunday morning.

An awareness of something bigger than myself, a North Star for when the path seemed rough or I was losing sight of the light at the end of the tunnel.

Sure, I still have my mental health challenges.

My down days.

The trials and tribulations that come with being a man trying to make his mark on this world.

But now?

I did the hard work, with some nudging from the new environment around me, both physically and digitally.

Did the uncomfortable deep dive and introspection that comes along with it.

As a result?

I’ve got someone to talk to every single day.

Someone who listens.

Someone who gets it.

(He’s been through way worse stuff, especially around this time of year).

Grateful for that.

Grateful for the journey.

Have a Happy Easter, everyone.

-John Abbate

4/5/2026

Screens on screens, artificial light, cortisol-inducing stressors.

A lot of it is simply unavoidable, and I get that.

I’ve dealt with much of the same, which is why I’ve been inspired to write these weekly little health tips.

Just because a lot of the realities of modern lifestyle fly in the face of proper health doesn’t mean you can’t fight back.

That’s kinda the whole wellness game.

So, amidst the potions and stretches and workouts, you want to know what’s arguably helped me the most?

Our big ol’ friend in the sky.

Don’t Be Sunphobic!

Look, I get it.

Skin cancer, melanoma, things of that nature.

All of it is real and a genuine concern.

I’m not saying bake out there until you’re burnt and you start to affect that awful “Facebook uploads of neon resort bracelets paired with tomato faces” aesthetic.

We don’t want that.

Hydrate, use a daily SPF moisturizer (this is my go-to from Kiehl’s), be smart about it.

Now you’re all set to get into the sun.

What to Do

Go outside, preferably in the morning or midday.

(Obviously this is weather dependent, so take advantage when you can!)

Close your eyes, look at the ground, and then slowly raise you head up so that your eyes are facing the sun- but don’t stare into it like a crazy person.

(Look at the cover image. Do exactly that.)

Spend a couple of minutes here, then start to move.

Stretch the neck on both sides, open the chest if you can, find movement.

If you’ve got privacy (or you’re bold), feel free to bang out some light yoga poses, like a forward fold or some hip openers.

But this feels woo-woo and ridiculous, bro.

That’s great.

Did you know ancient warrior cultures started their day with “sun salute” exercises and movement rituals?

I bet they knew a thing or two.

So yeah, you’re getting into your primal warrior state.

Or you’re being a hippy dippy nature lover.

Honestly both mental approaches (or a combo of the two) can work.

Whatever mentality you need.

Now let’s get down to the $$$ portion:

The Benefits of Daily Sun Exposure

Nature’s Coffee.

Waking up and getting some sun (the best time to do it, IMO) helps you get a jumpstart on your day.

Natural light triggers a cortisol awakening response (cortisol isn’t always bad).

There’s also a dopamine release and an overall “feeling of well being” that can wash over you.

Still have your actual coffee, yes.

But give the sun a little time before you go mainlining cold brew in AM traffic.

You might end up not needing something so strong.

Nervous System Regulation

Ah, the elusive Holy Grail of personal well-being.

Nervous systems can be tricky, and proper functioning here is a major health pillar.

Luckily the sun comes in clutch again.

Natural light exposure helps balance your autonomic nervous system.

Sun exposure is linked to slower breathing and an attachment to regulating your circadian rhythm (natural sleep schedule).

In turn, this helps your body achieve more “biological enlightenment”, for lack of a more scientific term.

Simply put:

A return to nature = a return to calm.

Your nervous system will thank you.

Happy Hormones

A lot of people are walking around very hormonally out of sync.

Mood disorders, irritability, brain fog…all are amplified by suboptimal lifestyle choices.

The vitamin D3 production from sunlight helps this tremendously.

Vitamin D is crucial, as it increases the following:

• Immune system function (huge for cold weather populations)

• Mood regulation (and melatonin timing for better sleep)

• Reduced inflammation overall, and increases calcium uptake in the body for bones and joint health

• Testosterone production

Arnold and Franco knew what they were doing.

You Get Aura From the Sky

AKA sharpened mood and presence.

Sunlight is proven to increase serotonin, the brain chemical responsible for mood, calm, and confidence.

Natural light is also 10x-100x brighter than artificial light, which increases brain signaling.

These factors help increase alertness and mental fatigue.

Think less rumination, more “being in the moment”.

Personal power levels + + +

You Want to Get Hot.

Not temperature wise (though that will happen).

We all feel better with a little more color.

Sure, that glowy “olive and optimized” look always has me feeling like I can conquer an entire continent, but even a little increase makes me feel better.

Of course, no two people reading this have the same complexion.

So outside of that, sunlight exposure also increases circulation, and the increase in the aforementioned vitamins and hormones help with body composition and skin/hair health.

They call it sun-kissed for a reason.

Sunlight is also associated with openness and movement, as we spoke about.

Pure vitality coming your way from the big celestial being in the sky.

You’ll look, move, and feel better.

That sort of unspoken signaling of personal wellness is downright attractive.

Get to Glowing

So, wherever you are, give this a shot tomorrow.

If you’re Florida Crew like me, you got no excuse.

(I do get a readership map- most of you are NY/FL based)

Northeast guys n’ girls, it’s gonna be harder, but still.

You can glean these benefits in colder weather as well.

Plus, it’ll be beach season before you know it.

(You can find me there almost all the time)

Be well, catch a glow….feel like yourself again.

Love,

John Abbate

3.31.2026

Those are the three niches that move the needle on the modern internet, and almost every high-performing offer can trace back to at least one of them.

They’re the essential building blocks of life.

They hit right at the raw core of basic human needs.

That’s probably why they’re equal parts profitable and completely divisive when it comes to online discourse.

So, today I’d like to talk about friends…because that’s where I see, for lack of a more professional term, the screwiest things imaginable online.

(First overall would be dating discourse, but we’re not doing that right now)

Small Circles, Standards, and Your Absolute Boys

Scroll ten TikToks or IG Reels and you’ll see ten different opinions on friendships.

It can be your favorite “gooroo”, extolling the virtues of being a DND Warrior and cutting out every single person who isn’t helping you reach your GOALS.

(While practical, this seems like an extremely lonely way to live)

There’s also the most toxic girl you’ve ever met reposting an artsy edit with a cool font that reads “May the Bridges We Burn Light the Way”

(She’s impossible to deal with and has zero accountability for it)

All of this sprinkled into the mix of some of the other usual occurring content:

• The Mamba Mentality guys reposting matte black Lamborghinis ripping through Dubai with captions about small circles, and- of course- the “Lion vs. Sheep” quote.

• EDM edits with just enough plausible deniability from your friend who is a West Village Handicap Stall Hero, who lives for afters with his absolute boys. (These are my favorite lol)

• Tradpoasting from a girl who found religion proclaiming that if you have no relationship with God, you can’t be in her life.

  (Faith is noble and beautiful- but is exclusion really a Christian virtue?)

• Your slightly unhinged gym bro friend posting about how planespotting is his “love language” (well who could this be)

Point being, there are billions of viewpoints and approaches to friendship and human connection.

Each one amplified by the fact we all have a platform to shout from.

Trying to make sense of all of them at once or sift through it all would make you insane.

The noise levels?

Maximal.

So, instead of trying to decode every single opinion on the internet, I tried to think about it differently.

It’s not about ideological alignment, or the amount of friends you’ve got, or the more superficial side of it.

It’s about the roles they play, especially in our world full of opinions, division, and craziness.

Anyway…let’s meet our trio.

Friend #1- The guy/girl way smarter than you.

This friend is literally worth their weight in gold.

Think about where we’re at right now- the Age of AI is upon us, personal branding and digital platforms are more important than ever, we have economic and geopolitical instability.

There’s no way any one human is an expert in all of these realms.

Perhaps there’s some unicorn out there- it sure isn’t me.

Having someone in your life who is an expert in a field or topic that’s becoming more essential or you want to learn more about is priceless.

Women seem to do this almost flawlessly.

They collaborate better, they’re less threatened by competence.

I’ve gotten plenty of messages over the past year to help write grad school essays or look over discussion board posts or lesson plans.

I’m always happy to do it.

The male ego needs to feel useful- but what irony that it also impedes the benefit of having smart friends in many cases as well?

I guess us guys have some sort of genetic impulse to be a “jack of all trades”.

You’ve got to quiet that voice down, that egocentric “Yeah, I know about that, too” voice.

I’ve got a couple friends who have basically automated everything in their life except brushing their teeth, showering, and personal intimacy.

OpenClaw, Claude credits, vibecoding the night away.

Yeah bro, I know about AI, too.

Where the hell would that have gotten me?

Instead, I sit back in awe and watch my super sharp friends cook.

Taking notes along the way, absorbing what I can.

You can take your ego out of its box later on.

I love my friends who are smarter than me ♥️

Friend #2- the “Fringe Friend”

You know this guy.

He’s the one where your girlfriend sees his name in the group chat and goes:

Oh man, so and so is coming? He’s gonna behave, right?

Fringe Friend loves to repost Reels about government weather control and chemtrails.

He might also think that Joe Biden had an army of body doubles during his term, and he’s one or two Surfsides away from telling the rest of the party about it.

Sure, it’s a lot.

But take a step back for a second.

Fringe Friend is not dumb.

Misapplied intelligence, in some cases?

Sure.

These types, for all their craziness, also have two really endearing and increasingly rare qualities about themselves that make them worth keeping around:

1. The balls to be unapologetically different

2. Insanely good crisis management

When “Monitoring the Situation” is a large chunk of your personality, you tend to thrive when the situation itself actually occurs.

Car issue and the AAA wait is obscenely long?

Fringe Friend knows how to tow you out.

God forbid the power grid goes out?

Fringe Friend knows what to do.

MSM fear-mongering about another potential happening?

Fringe Friend is so plugged in and terminally online he knows whether it’s something to actually worry about or not, with frightening accuracy.

In a world where absurdity and the unthinkable has become the norm, it’s a shrewd approach to keep somebody who lives in the absurd and unthinkable in your circle.

They usually don’t mean any harm, either.

They’re just…them.

Keep ‘em away from your girlfriend’s “I really hope AOC gets the Dem Nom in ‘28” friends, and you’ll have no issues.

Now, for my favorite:

Friend #3: The one that quietly roots for you.

This one is probably the most important of the three.

It’s inspired by an actual phone call I had this week while on one of my walks.

A former colleague of mine back on LI had just closed a deal he’d been working on for some time, so I gave him a shout to say congrats.

As we were chatting, I caught a glimpse of my own reflection in some condo windows.

There I was- listening to tales of the old office back home, looking at myself traversing some Gulf Coast walking path, figuring it all out.

The little poking and prodding voice crept up in the back of my head:

“Did we make the right move?”

I quickly snapped out of it when my friend said,

“Y'know..you came up in conversation this week. We talked about you”.

Obviously, this piqued my curiosity.

So I pressed for details.

“Yeah we were like, I can’t believe they (management) just let a guy like John just walk out the door. You were a top guy.”

Did I ever need to hear that.

It touched right on a raw insecurity- how was I, (without sounding like an egomaniac) allowed to slip out the door so unceremoniously after a legit serious run back on LI?

It was always a thorn in my side.

“Yeah but we were like, he’s mad smart. You’re good at the internet and writing and shit you’ll crush it, no doubt”

He had no idea I was at a low point.

That quiet vote of confidence?

That “we’ve been rooting for you all along” energy?

Took me from “castaway, floundering, idiot (??)” in my spiral to “capable, top performer” and… “mad smart 😝”.

It helped me tremendously.

(I should probably call him back and tell him that)

Because it wasn’t about “virtue signaling” of friendship.

(That doesn’t just happen with posterboards at No Kings rallies)

A friend can repost your wins or shout you out online, all the while pocketwatching and conducting the metaphorical male “measuring contest” behind closed doors.

I have friends like that.

My mom once said a friend of mine seemed awfully supportive, and I told her “Yeah, and I appreciate it. But he’s also the type that if I tell him I made $10 million, he’ll call me the next day to tell me he made $10,000,001.”

Our biggest supporters often aren’t the loudest.

Volume ≠ belief.

Ironically enough, these are the hardest ones to find, because they are usually hiding in plain sight.

The only way to truly find out is by reaching out on your own accord, with good intentions.

Genuine happiness for another’s win made me realize I had a whole crew in my court I never even really considered.

It’s oddly beautiful.

It’s certainly invaluable.

Quality > Quantity

It’s my genuine wish that everyone reading this has at least one version of these archetypes in their lives.

Odds are, you probably do.

They make it easier to manage the challenges of life.

Shouting heads on the TV, protests, political or social extremism.

There’s a whole lot of noise every time we unlock the phone or turn on the TV.

People exist on a spectrum, and they always will.

Just make sure that whether you need to conceptually understand something, or you need to be reminded who tf you are, or your girlfriend saw a TikTok about UFOs at 2AM and you need somebody to call to calm her down, that you have the requisite people in your corner.

It’s what makes life beautiful.

Rooting for you guys, always- I’m in camp #3.

(Alright, and a little bit of #2, as well…who are we kidding)

Enjoy your Sunday.

🫶🏻

-John Abbate

3.29.2026

Bro I’m having a panic attack, wtf do I do?!

Anxiety is rampant.

The girls, to their credit, seem to be far more open about it.

They speak freely about it over texts, in their group chats, they aren’t afraid to have their floating head circling an IG reel about having a panic attack in the elevator at work.

Men, however…we have a tendency to try and “eat it”.

Look, I get it.

I’m not saying guys should be reposting anxiety TikToks or injecting therapyspeak into their everyday conversations.

But there’s a grey area between “advertising your anxiety” and bottling it until it explodes.

Something’s Gotta Give

Any mental health professional worth their salt will tell you repressing emotions simply does not work.

Whatever you’re trying to bury in the alliterative backyard of your brain is going to expose itself sooner than later.

It probably already is in the form of physical maladies- I’d say The Body Keeps the Score is worth an annual re-read for most.

Drinking, drug use, short-fuse tempers, chronic pain, digestion issues..a lot of these ugly facets of human life are downstream effects of psychological repression, and anxiety is high on that list.

Facing emotions like this head on sucks, point blank and no sugarcoating it.

How would I know?

I’ve tried the “bottle it up, wear the mask, deny it” method.

How did that turn out?

I ended up having to pull myself out of polite society for like a week straight.

Sparing you the rest of the details, I write posts like these so you the reader can hopefully avoid such a fate.

While my battle with anxiety has gotten exponentially better, it still rears its ugly head.

It forces you to deal with it in the moment.

That’s why I was oddly grateful last week when some brutal tropical weather forced my hand.

Man vs. Thunderstorm

I haaate thunderstorms when I’m by myself.

That’s right.

Big guy with a mild case of cauliflower ear and a lifetime winning percentage of ~94% in the “you look away first bro” ridiculous male territorial posturing game, gets his cage rattled by some thunder and lightning.

When I’m with family, friends, or a romantic interest or whatever?

Different ballgame.

That’s an interesting psychological aspect in and of itself.

Perhaps it scratches the “protector” instinct itch, maybe it’s a tribal thing, “me and mine vs. this threatening environmental stimulus”.

Who knows.

Point is, it all goes out the window solo.

The dark sky, the extra decibels of the Gulf Coast variant of thunder blasts, the teeming heavy rain.

It’s historically been a one way trip to rumination, feeling unsettled, a general sense of irritability.

I can guess all day long the root cause, that’s a variable.

All I know is my reaction is a constant.

So that’s what I focused on when the MyRadar app told me I had an inbound fight on my hands.

We’re Not Doing This Today

Disgust can actually be a healthy emotion in the right context.

This was an example of that.

As the shiny blues and greens of the golf course out my window gave way hastily (in true Florida fashion) to ominous grey and black, a familiar feeling came over me.

The body tension.

The quiet.

The narrowing vision.

That’s when I said to myself: enough.

We’re not doing this shit today.

Part of my current programming is a bodyweight day.

Pushups, planche progressions, core work, all that fun stuff.

What was supposed to happen at the end of my work day was going to happen right here and now.

So, as the rain got heavier, the branches of the tree outside the window did that circular “horror movie sway” in every direction, I got down on the floor.

Diamond pushups synced with those insane flashes of lightning that are the same color as stadium lights.

Planks held as the telltale time between flash>boom shortened and shortened.

All the way telling myself the raised heart rate and sweat was due solely to the exertion.

Just like that, the fight was on.

Flawless….Draw?

The bodyweight medley matched the length of the storm almost exactly.

I’m sure it’s no coincidence they both hit their crescendo at the same time.

This is probably where you’re expecting something “rah rah” about defeating anxiety, conquering your fears, etc.

Let’s look at the facts, though:

I ended this session on the floor, drenched in sweat, a bit of an adrenaline dump, catching my breath.

All the same symptoms of a man who just got his ass kicked.

However, the usual aftershocks of anxiety?

The lingering headache of overthinking or feeling “trapped inside your mind”?

Nowhere to be found.

So perhaps it’s fair to say it was honors even.

A draw.

Not bad for a scenario that would usually be, what we refer to in hockey terms, a scheduled loss.

I hope this helps even one or two people reading this, and if you want more of these type articles, let me know.

Writing sounds like a great activity for the next time the storms roll in.

Lotta love!

-John Abbate

3.26.2026

I’m not so sure it would even exist.

I’ve seen a lot about raw honey on social media over the last 6 months- it’s considered a staple in the more hardcore wellness spaces, and thus it’s now seeping out into the mainstream.

There were bold claims on the more esoteric or “alpha” side of Twitter that raw honey would “testmaxx” you, that you’d be your own version of Genghis Khan merely from a few days of intake.

There was also anecdotal evidence of gut healing and blemish repair on the skin.

(I didn’t do that part, but I’ll add it when I do a skincare writeup)

Reading all of these testimonials- some hyperbolic, some genuine, there was really only one way to find out the truth.

Raw honey wasn’t a part of my arsenal, so I figured I’d deploy my love of self-experimentation and report back with my findings.

Like most things in modern wellness, the findings fell inbetween the extremes.

Let’s break it down:

The Loadout

I’ve been using Whole Foods’ 365 brand raw honey

Usage

I’ve been taking it 1 serving at night, melted into oatmeal.

On lifting days, a second serving goes into a pre-workout drink alongside Citrulline Malate and pink sea salt.

Originally, I added it to my coffee in the morning, but I found that it tasted vile.

The (no pun) Raw Facts

Anon accounts with Greek statue pfp’s chest-thumping poasting aside, here’s the actual listed benefits of raw honey:

• Natural sugars (glucose, fructose) which are easily absorbed and provide stable energy

• Rich in antioxidants (good for your heart!)

• antimicrobial/antibacterial properties, so good for the immune system (more on this later)

• Skin health (again I didn’t try this, but YMMV if you do)

• potential Testosterone support for men

• Women report reduction in menstrual fatigue

Obviously, lots of potential benefits here that someone of either gender and any age can benefit from.

(Well, it does say on the back not to feed to an infant under a year, had to be safe and throw that in)

Speaking of safety- This is a personal health article written on the internet by a guy in (very, tbh) good shape, take it for what you will and consult a doctor if you want to start a new supplement.

The Results

Ah, the good part.

The Pros

• More physique “fullness” the next day. I’m on a cutting cycle and this helped eliminate the A.M. flatness that can come with that.

• Pumps in the gym were noticeably better, and didn’t fade midway through the way they would with an over-the-counter pump supplement.

• Stomach/Gut health was the BIGGEST improvement by far. Helped mitigate stupid things I do like coffee+Zyn on an empty stomach, or eat too quickly. Noticeable improvements here.

• Stabilized energy when taken before long cardio sessions (i.e. a bike ride in the hot Florida sun)

Here’s the biggest benefit I found, though it is the most anecdotal as well:

It’s peak allergy season here in Florida.

All my life, when I’ve had allergies, all the mucus and grossness in my head and nose would inevitably stagnate in there and cause at least one round of a sinus infection.

This has not happened!

Additionally, my Oura Ring symptom tracker hasn’t even detected minor signs of anything over the past month.

Notable considering I’m in a personal “danger zone” of the calendar year.

Also, for the guys here- Citrulline Malate+ raw honey combo…doesn’t just have to be before the gym. I’ll leave it at that.

The Cons

Honestly? Not many, and they’re minor:

• The taste (at least to me) is awful. This is not the honey you had as a kid that comes in that teddy bear bottle.

• Consistency/texture can be chunky.

• I noticed it added a bit to dehydration if I wasn’t on top of my water/electrolyte intake.

• Delusions of grandeur/ fantasies of conquering entire continents on my own did not occur any more frequently than they normally do.

“John, do I take it or not?”

Resounding yes.

Like anything else that’s consumable, raw honey isn’t a cure-all or a bandaid for a lack of training or a garbage diet.

You can’t “major in the minor” when it comes to your health.

That being said, it’s a potent, whole, and naturally occurring supplement with a solid upside and minimal downside.

Not bad for $8.

Also…you’re still having your health-conscious lean before bed, right?

Hope you guys enjoyed this one.

I’ll be back later in the week with a story about how I got into a fight with a thunderstorm.

🫶🏻💪🏻

-John Abbate

3.24.26

How many times have we seen that?

There are the usual culprits on IG or TikTok that induce entire libraries of comments, such as a thirst trap from someone who just…isn’t in thirst trapping shape, or a couple that is navigating a looksmatch delta +/- ~5 points.

These are spectacles.

Most are bait- they know what they’re doing.

Comments = engagement, and if you’ve got engagement in the modern social media landscape, you’re winning.

(It even gets you paid on X)

But what if you don’t want the commentary?

Well, I’m afraid you don’t have much of a choice.

Luckily, we can navigate this.

The Perfect Storm

I’ve written quite a bit about how terminally online we all are these days (I’m no exception).

The digital continues to replace the IRL, and it grows stronger by the day.

Thus, everyone who wants to be a critic, can be.

Everybody with thumbs and a keyboard (or just speech-to-text) can toss in their unwarranted $0.02.

Couple that with the rise of personal branding and the importance of having a digital footprint in Current Year, and you’ve got a veritable perfect storm: the performer, and their legion of critics.

We’re Not Gonna Moral Grandstand Today

Turning this into a Man in the Arena style hype up, “us vs. them” type deal isn’t the goal today.

Would that stance be absolutely, irrefutably correct?

Of course it would.

That being said, nobody wants to tap into 1,200 words of a guy belaboring an obvious point, and I think we touched on it with enough grace last time out in last week's Sunday Essay

Firsthand Experience

What I will say is this- I’ve felt the absurdity of the comment section and DM’s firsthand on this personal brand journey.

Substack, for starters, is public.

Anybody can read it, and my name and face is attached to it.

As a writer, that’s exciting.

It’s part of the gamble of exposing your raw digital underbelly.

That being said, you do get the odd email or strange comment.

I just got one yesterday in a subscriber chat because a fellow Substacker was irate I enjoyed the writing of (I should make more of an effort to shoutout those that inspire me on this platform…he does, and also is fantastic and due to really blow up, IMO).

Observational energy beats confrontational energy, always.

However, Substack in this lens is small potatoes.

It’s when your name and face are out there on camera that the fun really starts.

TikTok Live

You want to really place your finger on the pulse of “commentary culture”?

Go Live on TikTok.

I was heavy into that game last year- met some great people, fellow writers, grew my audience.

Genuinely one of the most rewarding experiences and experiments of this creator journey.

That being said, TikTok Live is the belly of the beast.

You’re on screen yapping, and anybody and everybody who wants to tap in and comment, can.

Moderation?

lol.

You can appoint your own if you like, but even then they have to wade through the BS and inconsistent cadence to try and scrape out the nonsense.

For every intelligent question, though-provoking topic, and kind word or two, there was also some absurdity from the other end of the spectrum:

-Insults on your personal appearance

-Mocking on anything and everything

-Overtly sexual commentary for no reason

-Unflattering celebrity lookalike comparisons

(J.D. Vance??? really??? I don’t see it)

It was an immediate crash course in learning the modern digital landscape, but it pales in comparison to getting a taste of virality.

The Direct Correlation of Views and Unhinged Remarks

You want to have real fun with the crazies and nutty commenters?

Go viral.

That’s the megadose.

Back in 2024, and I did hundreds of thousands of views on an episode where he and I discussed mental health and the current state of how we treat it in our world.

Here it is ( the influx of views was on the X post of the episode, not YouTube):

The TL;DR of the points I made were basically that we should avoid over-labeling ourselves, seeking out good therapy and trying to solve your issues is admirable, agency will be your best friend when trying to dig out of these holes, and that elective suicide being legalized is a slippery slope.

Pretty cogent and frankly…middle ground!

And all this coming from a mental health advocate with his own admitted struggles.

Still, that wasn’t enough.

While there were plenty of positive reviews and words of encouragement (it did do over a million ultimately, if I’m not mistaken), there were also some crazy things said to the contrary:

-“Look at these two idiots”

-“Podcast equipment should be cheaper”

-Every four letter word you can imagine, etc.

-Death threats in my own inbox!!

It was honestly amusing, but also a little sad.

Taking a step back from it all (and a deep breath or two), I was able to sort out this phenomenon.

When you take emotions out of the equation, it makes sense.

I Know Why the Caged Hater Comments

Think of the world we live in post-2020, or even post-2016.

Otherwise lovely people who have let extreme ideology or political identity eat them alive, and run (or should I add a vowel and say ruin) their personal affairs.

Black and white thinking, media bias, taking sides on everything from experimental medical injections to Super Bowl Halftime Shows and nuking their private lives in the process.

Tribal thinking, identity politics, radical viewpoints… I don’t want to re-use the “Perfect Storm” analogy twice in one piece, but hell, it’s applicable here too.

Couple these societal realities with the fact that a larger percentage of our population than we care to admit has aged out of but not grown out of mean girl/schoolyard bully energy, and boom.

You get unhinged commentary on the internet, that grows in accordance with the expansion of the digital realms and the growth of social media platforms.

Plainly put?

It isn’t going anywhere.

Managing the Static

There’s really nothing to do, per se.

You just have to accept this as a modern reality.

Bemusement and using feedback as information will keep you on track, emotionality and stooping down levels will keep you stuck.

If I ever find myself a little jammed up, I like to refer to this priceless Twitter interaction from former UFC fighter Paul Felder:

In its essence, commenting culture basically forces the creator to run a cost-benefit analysis of sorts:

Is what I dream of and stand to gain from publishing and posting on the internet greater than the effects of dealing with the crazy BS that comes with it?

Most will say yes.

(For those that don’t, there’s no shame in knowing your limitations.)

As for those staying on the path, just remember that the noise is just, well, noise.

Not worth getting riled up over, rather just an (annoying) mainstay in a world that becomes more digital and changes at warp speed daily.

So, yes.

The Keyboard Warriors are at the gate.

They’re ready to nitpick, insult, denigrate, ragequit, spiral, whatever.

But they’re stuck there.

Sky’s the limit for the creator class.

I’ll take that trade any day of the week.

(Left my comments on this post wide open, as usual 💀)

Love!

-John Abbate

3.22.2026

This guy is, by all accounts, an extremely talented creator.

We were discussing writing and podcasting and posting, stuff like that.

I mentioned how whenever I publish, he’s one of the first I send the link to.

Friends supporting friends, creators supporting creators.

That sort of thing.

Then he hit me with the overhand right I didn’t see coming:

“I used to post my clips to my other chat, but they’d just get annoyed and make fun of it and tell me it’s stupid.”

The Ugly Fixed Variable

Much like watching back fight tape, I should’ve seen it coming.

Creators’ social circles not supporting their work is unfortunately an epidemic.

The 2.5M following creator you watch posts about it, the niche mommy bloggers post about it, your weird online cultural writer bro friend writes about it.

It’s an unchanging fact of posting online.

But Why…?

Cultural psychoanalysis en masse would turn this into a 4,500 word digital feast, but I can drop a quick three reasons I believe is behind this phenomenon:

1. “Crabs in a Bucket” Theory/Flying too close to the sun

Social groups, especially ones that came up during formative years like high school or college, are often very tight-knit.

However, these are also the groups that are least likely to accept “outlier behavior”

(I’ll write another day about finding your tribe, I’m blessed my college crew is super supportive but I’m also aware that’s unusual)

Crabs in a Bucket Theory can essentially be boiled down to “everybody roots for you until you start doing better than them.”

Think about it- take a crew of average guys or girls, everybody has similar normie jobs, standard relationships with partners in the same SMV ballpark.

All of a sudden, one of ‘em starts posting workouts or GRWM’s and instead of “you got this!!” it’s “woah…who do you think you are?!”

Many such cases!

2. The Mirror Turns Inward

Lots of business guys I read on Twitter and Substack echo a similar sentiment once they became financially successful to the point where they couldn’t hide it anymore:

Shit got weird with a lot of their friends.

Disheartening to read?

Sure.

Again- a constant fixed variable?

Seems that way.

Posting is really no different.

The confidence (or at least the guts) to post or write, especially when it gains traction, makes those around you take a hard look at themselves even if they don’t want to.

While “hey, good for him/her, I couldn’t do that” is the way we wished it would go, we know the realities of the world.

Mocking and disqualifying (really just a lengthy exercise in ego self-preservation) is the far easier way.

3. They Never Actually Liked You.

Yeahhh..the toughest pill to swallow.

“But..but they came to my birthday party in the city!”

Lots of people like fun social events with an open bar.

Doesn’t necessarily reflect on you.

And be honest with yourself- gun to your head, you know who these people are before they even truly reveal themselves.

That’s why…

The Onus is on the Creator

“How is that fair?!”

Who said life was fair!!

I get it though.

I’m guilty of this, too.

“Therapyspeak” memes be damned, I remember sitting in a session when my therapist poured the metaphorical bucket of freezing cold water over my head:

“John, a fair amount of your problems stem from the fact you place your standards on other people. You can’t do that.”

Look, I’m usually a cool customer, but I didn’t take to this one very well, and I got enough Mediterranean blood in me to run hot when I need to.

“So what do you want me to do?! Be a f——g doormat? That’s the answer?”

I got all emotional and irrational, I was hurt.

The bruised ego subsided into the correct internal monologue:

“You mean some people close to me, some friends, some colleagues..they haven’t been riding with me this whole time?”

Yup.

It sucks.

Doesn’t make it any less true.

It’s a gigantic social litmus test, and you have to have the guts to take and stare the results in the face afterwards.

Otherwise, you’ll make yourself crazy.

You’ll quit.

Group chat snark will have won, spoiling what could’ve been beautiful.

Pivoting from Doomerpoasting into a Whitepill

Once you get through the sludge of Creator Ambitions v. IRL Acquaintances, you’ll find there’s quite a pot of gold at the end of the rainbow:

Your online friends- people you’ve never linked with IRL- become some of your biggest supporters.

I could write an entire essay on people I’ve met via TikTok, podcast guest spots, and Substack.

Business connections, known writers, creators on their way up, actors…hell I even took a TikTok girl out over the summer.

(You wanna talk snark? Tell your crew you’re pulling women off of being charismatic on the internet- see how that one goes over.)

Whenever I get down about this (and even if you’ve dealt with it, it still has moments it irks you) I go rewatch one of the best TikToks I’ve ever seen:

@mworthofgameStrangers make you rich!

Tiktok failed to load.

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Inner Circle That Passes the Litmus Test+ Online Crew= Profit

That’s a very Alex Hormozi way of looking at, now that I reread that line.

Creative brains do well with breaking down the abstract into tangible formulas, it helps close the legion of open loops.

So here’s another one to think about- how big is your inner circle?

If you’re super blessed, it’s like 10-15 people, max?

Compared to the global population with internet access?

Looking at it that way…I’d say the gigantic potential upside of creating outweighs awkward moments at the 26% bodyfat FanDuel and Coors Light Convention, or the “Let’s crush mimosas at 10:00AM and mock other girls wedding photos” standing brunch date.

You make the choice though, I’m just throwing the facts and figures out there.

Right There With Ya

It’s preachy to write about things you don’t go through.

As I’ve alluded to, I’m no stranger to the weird secondary and tertiary effects of building an online platform.

Subscribers or followers come and go.

To think that this Substack hasn’t been “hate read” would be an enormous act of naivete.

(Hell hath no fury like…)

Still, when I get asked how the writing is going?

I always say it’s going really well.

Not because of metrics.

Not because of positive feedback (though that’s always nice), or likes, or shares, or whatever.

The real reason I say it’s going well?

I’ve got the balls to write it.

Proud of that.

Have a great week 🫶🏻

-John Abbate

3.8.2026

I came across this when I shouldn’t have been scrolling- I was outside under the moonlit Florida sky enjoying a cigar a friend had gotten me.

There was plenty to look at and admire- the stars, the way light of the moon reflected off of the fronds of the palm trees, that quiet, sort of eerie Florida hum.

But I guess we’re all dopamine addicts of varying degrees, huh?

The serenity of my surroundings lost the attention war to the almighty timeline.

That’s probably why that Naval tweet hit so hard.

He’s right.

The phones are invasive enough.

That’s not to dispel their luxury- it’s amazing the interconnectivity we enjoy.

The world has gotten incredibly small as a result.

However, it doesn’t change the fact we’re simply just not built for this.

It’s enough stimulation and overload just handling the micro, our own lives.

Grab any given person’s phone for a day and you’ll see the following:

-Endless IG Reels and TikToks sent from friends

But bro it’s so funny you gotta watch it!

(How many AI reels of Trump and Epstein drinking lean together do I need?!)

-Work calls, emails, perhaps Slack or Discord

-At least one constant group chat

-The best friend chat

-The family chat

-GF/BF/SO whoever or “Roster Management”

That list itself is thousands of notifications a day, thousands of little pings of dopamine.

This is before we get to the macro stuff!

At any given point, we can get the Apple News notification.

-Trump did XYZ

-One of your favorite celebrities died

- Awful weather is about to hit some part of the country you’ve never been to

-Disease, war, famine, death

Well, what if I just turn off the News push notifications?

Go ahead.

One of the aforementioned constant streams of texts will let you know what happened anyway.

It’s really no wonder we’ve started to see more and more outlandish civilian behavior.

We (and I) have pointed the finger at short form content and scrolling culture, but perhaps digital culture overall lends itself to this.

We’re all running browsers with 30 tabs open.

Modern life forces you to run 47 different programs at once:

GlobalWar.exe

Peercomparison.exe

CulturalOutrage.exe

Where do you find time to run focus or self care?

Some of us try.

“This application has stopped responding. Force Quit?”

In the IRL version of this analogy, this is the point when your laptop or PC’s cooling fans start roaring so loudly you can’t even hear yourself think.

Oh how life imitates art.

Hyper-connectivity is great.

It literally allows me to what I’m doing right now by writing.

But what do we do when our human RAM runs out of space?

It seems, much like actual PC memory, that the human brain isn’t malleable past a certain level of storage.

There’s no cloud data for the mind.

Managing your girlfriend’s breakdowns, watching a clip of an overtime GWG, emoji reacting to the latest Christopher Moltisanti meme in the bros chat, and being alerted of missile strikes in Tehran shouldn’t all be things that happen within fifteen seconds of one another.

I’m not so sure where it goes from here.

This could be the point of this little write up to throw in a cutesy “disconnect, unplug, touch grass” CTA, but how realistic is that?

The pragmatism of the online world is too alluring, and we’re all addicted.

Perhaps a real biohacking wizard will come up with a solution, perhaps there’s a team out there at Harvard or MIT or some other thinktank with ungodly powerful minds that are assembling something to help us deal with this.

Until then?

We keep running hot.

This was initially supposed to be an article with sub headers in bold and line breaks and maybe a photo or two.

I turned it into a stream of consciousness.

Will I hide behind saying it’s for the artistry of it?

Yeah, honestly I will.

The real truth?

I’m feeling a bit throttled.

My fans have been pumping for awhile, and yours probably have, too.

Hey, at least this was a quick read.

Enjoy the weekend 🫶🏻

-John Abbate

3.6.2026

One thing we haven’t touched yet is some practical (yet unusual) health tips.

Today’s article is an example of the type of things I advise friends/family/colleagues to do when they come to me for advice, and usually they get great results.

(I wouldn’t write about it if it didn’t work 😊)

There’s a whole lot more where this came from, but let’s get started with the first one.

Promethazine for the Modern Professional

Ok, let’s face it- all of us grew up listening to a ton of rap music.

Most of you (I presume), have grown out of that.

That’s great.

I haven’t.

Rap music comparisons also sell.

We’ve all seen Future, Kodak, Wayne, et al. toting around their respective double cups while they make the bangers we’ve all come to love.

Now you can feel like you’re pacing in the studio with $100,000 of jewelry on while you’re actually sipping tea getting ready to sleep well so you can be extra quirky on Slack tomorrow.

It’s ok- no shame in little mental frameworks to soften the blow.

Anyway, the tea!

John’s Super Simple Nighttime Tea Recipe for Maximal Mental Acuity and Healthy Glow

Y’know..this is my first time writing about health as it relates to consuming things, so I guess I need a disclaimer:

This isn’t medical advice, consult a doctor before you try new supplements, and the Promethazine thing was clickbait to get you reading this article in the first place (I’ve honestly never even tried it).

Ok, cool.

That’s sorted.

Now, you need water, a pot/kettle, a mug, and three key ingredients:

Glycine

Collagen Powder

I’m using half an individual stick of Bulletproof Grass-Fed collagen peptides.

Caffeine-Free Tea

Personally I rock with Well-Rested Herbal Tea from Trader Joe’s

(None of these are affiliate links, we aren’t there yet).

I’m not making this until you tell me why.

That is fair.

Here’s why each of these ingredients are in this concoction.

GLYCINE: One of the simplest amino acids, it punches way above its weight when it comes to sleep and nervous system regulation.

It’s an inhibitory neurotransmitter, which in English means it helps streamline cognitive processes and slow the brain down.

Glycine also lowers body temperature, which helps you fall sleep faster.

Lastly, glycine supports collagen production in the body, essential for skin and connective tissue.

TL;DR: Sleep Quality / Neuroprotection / Cognitive Function Enhancement

COLLAGEN PEPTIDES: They provide amino acids that your body uses to support skin elasticity and skin hydration.

This same process aids in joint and tendon support.

I have noticed (as have friends of mine deep into wellness+fitness) that consistent collagen supplementation also correlates with thicker hair and stronger nails. Both grow quicker too!

TL;DR: Functional Boost meets Natural Cosmetic Improvements

HERBAL TEA: Again, you can use any non-caffeinated tea you please, but if you can get your hands on the Well-Rested Tea, I strongly suggest it.

The chamomile and passionflower are both traditionally used to promote relaxation and lessen anxiety, thus making it the perfect base for a nighttime wind-down ritual.

Does it taste good?

Yes, very much so- and here’s why:

The herbal tea is a spearmint/peppermint blend.

Unflavored Collagen Peptides give it texture, without any noticeable “chalking”.

Lastly, (and this is my favorite) Glycine literally tastes like sugar.

So basically think thicker minty tea with a sugary kick.

The Macros

Basically negligible.

Half a serving of collagen+ Glycine is roughly 70 calories and 10 grams of protein.

It’ll taste like way more than that.

(This is a good thing)

How I Make It

Yes, there’s a little art to it.

Greentext style, here it is.

>Kettle with water on high

>Mug empty with tea bag in it

>Water is ready (doesn’t have to be boiling, tbh)

>Pour halfway into the mug

>Add Collagen

>Stir with spoon

>Fill 25% more

> One serving of Glycine (or more, if you’re in that mood)

>Fill the rest

>Let it steep 4 or 5 mins

>Profit

What to Expect

At Night: If you’ve never taken Glycine before and you’re not a regular tea drinker, this is going to be fun.

For lack of a more professional term, you’ll feel a certain “fuzziness” in your body, but mentally you’ll feel pretty composed.

Honestly you will feel sort of high, especially if you’re a more sensitive type.

Don’t freak out- it just means that it’s working!

I suggest winding down with a book as the perfect activity once you’ve had your tea- you’ll feel very cozy lying down and that ADHD-esque “I gotta move around” itch a lot of us suffer from tends to subside.

The Next Day: The goal of this drink isn’t actually to sedate you, though that happens.

The is really about recovery.

The first time you try this, you’ll likely feel a lot less foggy headed the next morning, your early hours will be clearer.

That’s the first thing people notice.

Consistent intake of collagen supplements for a few steady weeks (best paired with proper skincare- dw that’s coming) will have you noticing you look pretty damn good for somebody looking into the mirror at 6:15AM on a Tuesday.

Practicing What I Preach

Honestly I fell off a bit on this recipe, it used to be a habit.

Lately, I’ve gotten more dilligent with it, and I’ve noticed the difference.

I wrote this article “under the influence” of it:

Pretty sure the Pikachu mug was a birthday present.

(Yes, the ears do fill up with liquid, they’re not just for show)

Sleepy Send Off

We’re all guilty of falling into the trap of stimming ourselves to the gills at the start of our respective days.

Some of us are Trenta Warriors (with espresso shots), some of us down Red Bulls like water bottles, and then there’s my comrades who have the C4 and the pouch nestled in the upper deck barely half an hour into the day.

We’ve spoken about struggling with the RPM's before, so it made sense to provide a tried and true holisitc alternative to take some of the edge off.

Nobody had to rob a pharmacy in the process.

That’s nice.

Try this and let me know how it worked, I’m curious to know.

If its a few weeks from now and your colleagues are wondering how on Earth you’re showing up to Zoom glowing like one of those girls that wakes up at 12:15 in the afternoon and reviews Erewhon smoothies on TikTok for a living while you’re delivering monologues like you’ve got a cable news spot…

Just be sure to tell them where you learned all this.

The Subscribe button is in the top right hand corner.

Get a good sleep tonight 💪🏻

-John Abbate

3/4/2026

“It just didn’t feel like the Super Bowl this year.”

That’s a startling statement at first glance, but when you break it down, it begins to make a lot of sense.

The Super Bowl used to be a primary source of entertainment in America.

A shared living room that spanned the entire country.

Even if your team wasn’t involved, it was a pure, unmissable spectacle.

Since then, so much has changed- and we know what a lot of that is.

You’ve got platforms on platforms- your dopamine plate overflowing with all of the short form content your heart could desire.

Couple that with an attention span so fried that you stop two or three times to peruse the FYP in the middle of signing up for your umpteenth streaming service, and the bigger problem becomes pretty clear.

The Modern “Big Game”

Massive sporting events used to be about camaraderie and shared experience.

In 2026, that’s really not the case.

Modern sporting events have now basically become investment vehicles.

The plethora of prop bets and parlays overshadow rooting interest.

As with anything else, they’re also injected with cultural division and controversy, as seen by this year's halftime show.

We’ve touched on that- and people find this constant loop of division exhausting.

There’s also the war we must go to with our subconscious, which knows all too well about the elephant in the room:

Watching sports in the present day is inefficient.

A close friend of mine is crazy about the NBA.

He tells me that the average NBA Twitter loudmouth doesn’t even watch the games.

I was pretty puzzled by this and naturally pushed back, so he explained it:

“They don’t watch the games. They watch the highlights on Twitter and TikTok and talk shit based off of that.”

I trust my boys implicitly, but if you don’t, that’s cool- here’s the exact same sentiment being expressed by famed Barcelona defender Gerard Pique when questioned on the same topic, in application to football:

“Watching Football for 90 minutes isn’t exciting anymore. Football competes with Netflix, Amazon, YouTube, TikTok. Everyone has limited time.”

“Do I watch matches for 90 minutes? Not really. I watch Barça play, but not 90 minutes. Maybe 30 or 40 minutes.”

Our big moments have become commoditized, clipped, condensed, and culturally impactful for the wrong reasons.

The biggest casualty of all of this?

They lose meaning.

This was looking pretty bleak from the outside looking in, as if one of our biggest cultural mainstays- the passion and togetherness primetime sports provide- was an endangered species.

All it took was two weeks in Milan to change all that.

The U.S. Men’s Hockey Team Did More Than Win Gold

The entire country was enraptured by Team USA’s quest for their first Olympic gold medal since the 1980 Miracle on Ice year.

Also, before we go any further with them, let’s get some disclaimers outta the way:

• The U.S. Women’s team beat Canada and won gold and they’re total badasses in my eyes (and pretty much everyone else’s), too.

• People who are sad and miserable will always latch onto whatever big moment they can as a vehicle for being…sad and miserable.

• Outrage culture’s gross, slimy tentacles are seriously starting to lose their grip on American culture (this is a beautiful thing).

Okay, anyway.

Leading up to the gold medal game, I couldn’t help but notice that the overall feeling- in group texts, in conversations, in the media, IRL- felt like old times.

Nobody was talking about “Quinn Hughes Over 2.5 points” or pucklines or player props.

(Though I do have to brag that our hero won the Bucci Overtime Challenge)

There was excitement, pride in the air.

There was the juxtaposition of the very familiar “we are the USA and we’re here to dominate” bravado, alongside the rather alien feeling of being underdogs on an international stage.

Group chats were alight with anticipation.

Social media was chock full of both the wholesome (players’ family and friends having watch parties, rocking their USA gear to work) and the less wholesome (absolutely hilarious memes that often crossed the line).

There was belief.

There was meaning.

So when Jack Hughes, all 165 pounds of him, broken smile and all, tucked a shot under Jordan Binnington early into OT to win it all?

Euphoria ensued.

There was no talking heads yapping about “player legacies”, no arguments about whether certain players were only successful in certain systems, or how they compare to others, etc.

It was just pure, elated pandemonium.

People danced, celebrated, poured beer on each other’s heads.

Bars that had been granted exemptions to host the game at the time of the unholy early Sunday morning puck drop exploded into jubilation.

I remember watching a documentary about the 2004 Boston Red Sox, another legendary (albeit stomach-turning for LI-bred Yankees fan) team.

Once they finally crossed the Rubicon, the reaction of the fans interviewed wasn’t to gloat or be toxic.

They called family members, sometimes for the first time in a long time.

They shared the moment with friends, or reflected on what it meant to the people in their lives who didn’t make it to see this moment.

It was nice to see this phenomenon return en masse.

Take the Momentum and Run With It

2004 might as well be 50 years ago the way we’ve changed culturally since then.

For a fleeting Sunday morning in February, the old world was back.

Amidst all the noise and distractions and craziness, Team USA’s run allowed us to just be….there.

There was no multitasking, no wagers, no clipping, no BS.

We were all sat on the same emotional rollercoaster, a collective ball of nervousness, excitement, and investment wrapped into one.

We were pulled out of our algorithms, our feeds, our preconceived notions and whatever else- and reached the conclusion that we had been starving for a moment like this as a collective for a really long time.

Sure, on the surface it was a really big hockey game.

On a deeper layer, a moment like this unearthed something greater:

The game meant something.

The feeling of belief was rewarded by unbridled joy, and Americans got a taste of this and decided that they loved it.

I’d like to think it’s a sign of things to come.

That’s something to believe in.

-John Abbate

3.1.2026

It’s declared as a personality trait, an often used self-describing noun heard in many a TikTok street interview or Hinge prompt.

Does it conjure up the best imagery?

Probably not.

Like everything else on earth, “being a yapper” gets pigeonholed or stereotyped.

Look, I get it- a lot of us hear the word and envision Sarah who works in HR loudly oversharing and trauma dumping after one too many espresso martinis at whatever hotspot the algorithm decided was cool that week.

It isn’t the prettiest sight (I’m also admittedly guilty of doing everything I can to get out of the “blast radius” of such types when I’m out), and you’d be justified to recoil.

But yappers come in all shapes, sizes, and backgrounds… and their Golden Age just may be upon us.

Broadcasting vs. Conversing

Technological advancement has given everyone a camera and a microphone, for better or for worse.

We broadcast at one another incessantly…but do we really listen anymore?

Perhaps it’s the downstream effects of mainstream media “shouting heads” culture that’s to blame, perhaps it’s the constant state of heightened cortisol we’ve collectively lived in since ~2016.

We can spend all day trying to point the finger (and make ourselves insane in the process).

The fact of the matter is, somewhere along the way, conversation got demoted.

I’ve always said my greatest pet peeve used to be pretty niche.

No, it isn’t a standard issue one like bad drivers or waiting in line.

Nothing gets under my skin more than when I’m speaking with someone and get the vibe they just cannot wait for the sound of my voice to stop so that they can get their .02 in.

It’s something I thought would dissipate with age, or at least its rate of occurrence would be inversely proportional to the development of my shoulder-to-waist ratio (ok that part does kinda track tbh).

Still, it’s mildly infuriating when it does occur…and now it happens on a grand scale.

Vomiting Making Cold Calls

I come from a commercial real estate background, and a large part of that job consists of spending time on the phone.

There’s been firms I’ve worked at that weren’t too far from The Wolf of Wall Street, without the cool stuff like the Friday afternoon debauchery or women who looked like Margot Robbie.

I’ve trained my fair share of new brokers.

There was literally a time when I was tasked with showing a new guy the ropes and let’s just say it didn’t go so great.

Staring at the list of prospective buyers for a listing I had, this particular young man ran off to the bathroom and literally lost his lunch at the idea of having to perform cold outreach over the phone for the better part of a morning.

At first this was baffling, until I realized that a large majority of the population would find such a task intimidating (but hopefully not to that physical extreme).

Communication at a high level (or even proficient level) isn’t exactly inherent for most people.

That’s totally ok.

We’re not downing anybody here, but it would also be naive to say that the state of the “average communicator” coupled with our digital advancement is setting the stage for the chatters and charismatic among us.

“Claude, call my mother”

We spoke last time out about AI, and how it’s changing basically everything.

That’s true.

The realm of communication has not been an exemption.

Cold emails, marketing funnels, SMS campaigns…the list of AI automated communication tasks can circle the globe.

The one thing you still can’t outsource?

Conversation.

Sure, we might have voice-mimicking software, the type of stuff people use on IG to make Trump rap Crazy Story Pt. 3 or scammers use to call your grandmother and tell her you’re trapped in a Central African hostage bunker and need $5,000 immediately to get home.

The fact remains: real conversation resists automation.

Have We Forgotten About Emotion?

I’d argue with confidence that conversational ability not only can’t be automated, it’s multiplying rapidly in value.

The reasoning?

The big why?

It’s in the abstract.

It’s in the emotion.

Energy, Momentum, and Resonance

Ah, you knew we’d end up here, admit it.

While we get lost in streamlining workflows and automating tasks, while our timelines and fyp’s are awash with optimize this, data feedback on that.. the core drivers of human emotion and interaction seem to have become an afterthought.

This is a tremendous oversight.

Conversing isn’t just about how the words said read back to you on speech-to-text.

The magic and impact lies in the delivery, in the establishment of trust, in the unspoken but wholly felt human element.

Ask any salesperson worth their salt, and they’ll tell you sales is more a transfer of feeling than it is numbers and X’s and O’s.

We’ve seen these examples with big brands a thousand times over, often from cookie cutter Threads accounts or (funnily enough) AI-narrated Reels:

Rolex doesn’t sell timekeeping, it sells luxury.

Ferrari doesn’t just sell you cars, it sells you an exclusive experience.

John’s Substack doesn’t give you cultural updates, it champions your autonomy amongst the madness (😉).

Conversation is much of the same.

It’s how fruitful business relationships start, how historically great teammates “click”, the literal first step in the reproductive process that put all of us on this planet in the first place.

People who can yap can inject energy,

If I asked you to scroll your contacts and pick out the people you feel “drain the room” and then do the very same thing with those that uplift it, I already know the former list would dwarf the latter.

The scarcity of communication skills that land, that energize- this is what gives it the value.

Objects in motion tend to stay in motion, or something like that.

I do know that any movement, collective, political party etc. that has changed the course of history had a person at the forefront that not only could provide energy, but sustain that into momentum so powerful that entire communities and followers rose up around them.

The talkers, the communicators, the gifted conversationalists- they don’t resonate as much for what they say so much as how you feel understood by their words themselves.

The finest, most thought out 200 IQ brainchild AI prompt can spit out the best written speech or presentation you’ve ever read…but it can’t deliver it.

It can’t change tonality, play with timing and dead air, slip in an impromptu one-liner.

That’s where the magic lies.

Hanging Up the Phone

People like to tease poke and prod the talkers among us.

Perhaps that’s just human nature- a person is changing your immediate environment, introducing emotionality, taking the reigns.

That causes a reaction.

This is simply one of many reactions to feeling something.

Isn’t it nice to feel something?

In an age where we are siloed like never before?

Where we see our favorite characters on whatever it is we’re streaming more than our own families, when the “leave at door” instructions make it feel like our dinners get delivered by literal ghosts?

We automate workflows and content schedules and everything else.

IRL communication remains stubbornly human.

Those that can master it?

That’s leverage no LLM tool can cook up for you.

So be kind to the yapper in your life, they’re gonna become far more essential than you ever realized.

Their ship is certainly coming into port.

I just hope they let the writers on, too.

Love you guys 🫶🏻

-John Abbate

2.22.2026

I can almost hear the collective “Oh no, here we go…”

Let’s take a deep breath- it’s not going to be like that tonight.

Fear Not

Most of the discourse and content surrounding AI is operating on a spectrum from “look how cool and smart I am and you should tell me that” to “if AI isn’t brushing your teeth and calling your mother for you by now, you’re DONE FOR!”

This isn’t that.

Tipping My Hat to the Outliers

Sure, I’m not going to gaslight people (never did have ex accuse me of that either, that’s a flex).

There certainly are outliers in the AI age.

People running Polymarket bots, bros with Mac mini’s ripping OpenClaw to outsource every task imaginable, vibe coders shipping apps overnight.

Frankly, it’s awesome.

But if you have just as much a chance at decoding ancient hieroglyphics as you do understanding that last blurb, it’s not a sign to panic.

The Only AI Skill You Really Need

I’ll spare you the cute run-up this time out.

The bedrock, foundational skill for the AI age? Simple.

It’s agency.

Agency, in its literal definition, is defined as the capacity to act intentionally and influence outcomes rather than passively reacting to circumstances.

Kinda beautiful tbh.

What’s even better?

Everybody has it in them.

Becoming an International Secret Agent

No, I’m not talking about the male urge to actually do it, though we love our 007 cosplay when we’re dressed well and committing minor traffic violations on a sunny Friday afternoon.

Plus, as any veteran Bond fan knows- an agent can be female (and it’s no exaggeration a lot of them tend to be more ruthless and more effective)

This article is for everybody.

So, how does this actually get accomplished?

Let’s get some qualifiers out of the way before we delve deeper.

First off, you don’t have to be the smartest or most technically adept to win in the AI age (this is terrific news for yours truly).

The winners are the ones who, no matter what hand they’ve been dealt in the world of natural skills and abilities, adopt the tools and put them to use.

The Mission

Notice I didn’t say attach emotionality to these tools- they’re neither deities or Skynet-esque enemies.

Rather, the ones who win are the ones who see this new age for what it is, in a matter-of-fact manner.

AI is cutting the velvet ropes in our world and lighting permission structures on fire.

There are fewer and fewer gatekeepers by the day.

I mean, somebody could run an AI scraper to dig up every article about AI, decide they love this one, and it does 100K views.

Completely organic growth, independent of the bouncer at the door.

Sure, the other side of this can be terrifying in a way.

When we eliminate the “boogeyman” of the permission structure, we also abdicate that very structure of blame and misplaced responsibility.

After the initial shudders of anxiety at this realization subside, the calming breeze of self-sufficiency usually follows right after.

Trust me on that one.

The mission is to use these tools to your advantage to reach whatever it is you’re reaching for quicker.

It’s as simple as that.

“Okay, but what do I actually do”

Got you.

Think of the AI age and becoming proficient in it as simply answering this question:

What can this help me do faster, better, or more freely?

This would be the part where I plug in like, 20 examples of things AI can do for you.

That’s A. boring content and B. obnoxiously trying to hold the reader’s hand.

Don’t care for either of those things over here.

Moving along, let’s still use this Substack as an example.

The last thing I’d do is copy and paste an article I had AI write for me.

Not only would it be complete slop, but it would also be instantly detectable to anyone with a modicum of taste (destroying my credibility in the process).

This is a perfect example of why agency in the AI age is actually awesome.

The very things you can’t automate- taste, proclivities, an eye for trends or topics, viewpoints- increase in value exponentially.

Do I have Claude or ChatGPT write my articles?

Hell no.

Do I ask them “hey, what are the ten things I gush about the most and the ten things I bitch about the most and what are 20 or 30 different article topics that can spawn from this?”

Absolutely.

Did I use it to code my new home page layout?

(Please tell me you noticed…)

Yes.

Did I create a “Substack system” based on my burst-executor work style, conjoined with my “nighttime creative” archetype, as determined by cross-referencing my Oura Ring sleep stats?

Yeah, I did that too.

Do I copy and paste drafts for feedback, so I can find typos or if I’m being hypocritical, like as if I said “I’m not gonna hold the reader’s hand because that’s obnoxious” and then realize I gave like 5 AI frameworks to use anyway?

Yes.

While I’m completely violating my own protocols, I’ll throw in this unrelated tidbit- you can also use AI to assess a photo of your limb lengths and muscle insertions to find the best exercises for you to do in the gym.

Effective like clockwork.

Wrapping Up at the M16 Building

AI isn’t some modern age monster here to tear down the walls of life as you know it.

It’s an aid that can amplify the gifts you have, the human ingenuity that will only become more invaluable as we go on.

That’s a massive whitepill.

Think about it- you get acquainted with AI, and you’ve got machines at the ready, streamlining your workflows, amplifying your voice and your skills, all the while expediting the BS you don’t want to deal with so you don’t waste more time on it.

That’s a pretty powerful feeling.

You might start convincing yourself you’re some sort of futuristic international super spy or something.

Love always,

John Abbate

2.20.2026

PS: for those of you old enough to remember- doesn’t this make you just want to run around Silo with dual Moonraker lasers? What a shame this game was pre-online FPS era.

Could be family, roommates, whatever.

You re-arrange the living room furniture while everyone else is out.

Some people in the home will like it, some will dislike it, maybe even one or two hate it.

Either way, you’re guaranteed to have five varying opinions.

Opinions are like….

I never really cared for that phrase, it’s pretty crude.

Doesn’t change the fact it’s true as can be!

We need opinions in this world.

They lead to discourse, debate, discussion…which inevitably gives way to collaboration and innovation and so on and so forth.

So how ironic is it, in a time when we have the ability to spout off any viewpoint we please into the ether at any given moment, our opinions have all but become commodified?

The Beygency

Saturday Night Live had a skit about ten years ago called The Beygency, the premise of which was essentially anyone that didn’t immediately gush over the latest Beyonce performance was captured by a government agency and taken away.

(Which is probably a lot less funny and a whole lot more plausible given recent events, but we don’t have to go there today)

It was a comical but honest critique of how, even back then, not prostrating yourself before a cultural figure that had been deemed by the Big Machine to be unassailable was social suicide.

Little did we know how much that phenomenon was going to continue to grow.

The Benito Bowl

Super Bowl LX’s actual football portion was almost overshadowed by (yet another) culture war, with Bad Bunny being assigned the halftime show.

We all saw it- and there’s an awful lot of thinkpieces on this very site about it.

We’re not gonna go down that path, but rather look at how this was an exposé on the pre-packaged opinion.

Look, before I go further- I got a lot of Spotify saves of Bad Bunny songs.

It’s fun stuff, it’s sexy.

Women like it.

It’s good rhythmic background music for when you and your hitting partner have the tennis courts to yourselves and can break out the speaker.

That ticks more than enough boxes over here.

Hate It or Love It, Vol. 1,000,000

The script seemed to be the same after the halftime show- there were really only two opinions to be had, two camps to be in.

It was sort of like picking a Pokémon gym leader when the game starts.

You could pick Emily (she/her), who instantaneously thought it was the greatest thing she’s seen in the music world since Taylor Swift dropped an Easter Egg (aka a carefully crafted marketing ploy concocted by a Manhattan agency on an 8-figure retainer) about her latest album.

Anyone who disagrees is equivalent to a domestic terrorist in her eyes.

Her opposite number would be Bill, whose Twitter profile picture is him in sunglasses in his car, who preferred Turning Point USA’s YouTube halftime show with Kid Rock instead.

Bill channels his anger from not getting enough matches on apps with his fishing photos out on the fact the halftime show was in a language he can’t speak.

You almost can’t fault these characters or their adherents- it’s a downstream effect from the mainstream media.

Bad Bunny hadn’t even peeled off his (honestly super cool) performing outfit before Rolling Stone was quick to anoint the performance online:

Had this come out a week later, you’d understand it.

But art takes time to assess and digest.

Our favorite albums don’t become our favorite albums right away, unless we fall in love with the optics of it being one of our favorite albums, which of course makes the whole thing ring hollow.

You need to listen to it a few times, in different realms- with the rain pelting the car windows on a night drive, or alone in bed, and then out with other people.

Prematurely giving someone their flowers on a grand scale feels less like an honest review and more like eerie social instruction.

It’s Beygency-coded.

Art in all its forms has texture, layers.

It simply isn’t digestible in a single serving.

This has existed for centuries- literature and a subgenre of literary critique right behind it.

We’re not exactly reinventing the wheel here.

The Quiet Social Experiment

Writers like to observe things, it’s literally somehow baked into our DNA.

Family, friends, social media acquaintances- I kept stock in my head of who said what after the show was done.

You just knew who couldn’t wait to come out and gush on their IG story that it was the greatest thing ever, and vice versa.

A digital footrace to virtual signal, no different than making a big deal about cleaning up the coloring supplies in the kindergarten classroom so you get another gold star next to your name on the whiteboard.

The deflating fact of the matter is that I had, like, a 98% hit rate.

Luckily, we’re not all wired this way.

I hold out hope the minority can flip and become the majority.

Homeless Opinion Crew Reporting In

So, what to make of it if you’re in this minority?

What if neither encampment of opinion is enticing to you?

If the ever-present modern need for an extreme viewpoint has become, like it has for so many of us, like swallowing the bitterest pill?

Well then I’d say, my dear reader, the onus is on you to lead the change.

Sure, you risk the mini-ostracization at the brunch/dinner/coffee clutch/group chat/office water cooler.

The alignment of authenticity should sooth the discomfort.

It’s in this honesty of viewpoint that you serve the greater good.

Wrapping It Up

Anything you and I enjoy was borne out of discourse and debate.

Inherent tribalism and lines in the sand make projects and innovations a non-starter.

The very iPhone you read this on went through a thousand different iterations and tweaks, and the iOS software even more so.

Aren’t we happy that it exists?

As with almost anything in this world, the sweet spot lies somewhere in the middle.

The more frank and honest we are, the more we listen (!!) and have discussions that lead us forward.

Looking both ways for safety is for crossing streets, not expressing yourself.

Obviously, I’d prefer you go out there and show love to someone or something that people around you are trashing, but if it’s to the contrary, hey- at least you’re staying true.

You can tell me you absolutely hated this essay.

I’d find that oddly refreshing.

Talk soon 🫶🏻

John Abbate

2/16/2026

He’s a pretty accomplished guy, with a track record to prove it.

However, he posted a reel the other day that stopped me in my tracks, and not for a great reason.

I’ll keep him anonymous (and fwiw, I still really respect the guy and this isn’t hate), but the post was along the lines of this:

“I have a 7 minute drive to do right now. Instead of wasting my time, I’m listening to actionable content on a podcast so I can use this time to learn a new SKILL instead of mindlessly listening to MUSIC”

Oh brother.

Let’s get into this.

A Brief Defense of Hustle Culture

Modern online “hustle content”, as with most things, started out pretty well.

That follows trendlines across all sorts of mediums, it’s almost standard.

It’s not uncommon that a band’s eponymous first EP hit harder with fans than their label-curated later work, or your favorite team’s star QB was more endearing when he was a gritty early career gunslinger, and less so when he started hawking pistachio nuts and car insurance while marrying an A-list actress.

The jump from attainable and tangible to cartoonish and sensational might make the social media metrics go up, but you lose the everyman in the process.

This isn’t to say hustle content doesn’t have its place.

I’ve written many a time about my admiration for Alex Hormozi.

He can break down metrics and frameworks that seem so abstract into simple plug-and-play math formulas.

It’s a top .001% human ability.

We’re blessed to live at a time with free digital libraries full of content and advice from men and women who have walked the walk.

However, it’s the second and third order effects we need to be careful of.

Constant Arousal ≠ Discipline

There’s a stark difference between discipline and living in a constant state of arousal.

Discipline is calm, deliberate.

Constant arousal, on the other hand, may look the same on the outside, but it’s frantic on the inside.

The human equivalent of having 30 Chrome tabs open at the same time.

The impending feeling of digital gurus lording over you while you slam down yet another dinner in front of YouTube.

It’s more common than you think, and wholly unsustainable.

“says the guy with an Oura Ring basically living in monk mode lol”

What do you think made me want to write about this topic in the first place?!

Let’s break it down quickly and anecdotally, so we’re on the same page.

When I was at the peak of my commercial real estate run on Long Island, I absolutely redlined myself.

No, I wasn’t a slave to the talking heads on my fyp, but I was indulging in such toxic practices like:

-being proud my phone was never on Do Not Disturb

-Saturday mornings no longer being mine

-taking meetings that could’ve been phone conversations “for the face time”

-hopping on calls from the balconies of Long Beach house parties

-answering attorney emails from the bathroom of a New Orleans strip club (true story)

What was the grand result?

Sure, there were some marquee moments. (Feel free to Google ‘em)

At what cost?

The New York Real Estate Journal reaching out for an interview is obviously cool, but said coolness really takes a hit when you have to do the interview from bed because you re-aggravated your chronic spine issues in the process of doing the very things they wanted to talk to you about in the first place.

When I see such content as the “no music” reel, I see it as a gateway drug that’s going to lead people down this very same path.

I don’t want that for you, my friends!

You don’t have to take it from me, and that’s fine.

That’s why I spend a lot of time talking to…

People Way Smarter Than Me

“Your network is your net worth” is a bit overblown (makes for good cortisol content, though), but having friends way smarter than you is worth its weight in gold.

I’ve got guys who are crushing it in PE, consulting, tech, you name it.

Some have even been interviewed on here.

Around late-2024, I started to notice a trend amongst all of them.

While they were running up their respective scoreboards and our personal relationships grew stronger, they had become less accessible.

“XYZ has Notifications Silenced”

No, I don’t wanna alert anyway.

(but I was initially stunned)

Conversations became scheduled, face-to-face meetups went from “yeah we should do that” to a must-do.

Chat topics changed drastically.

Less KPIs, tools, and metrics.

More talk about recovery. Health. Faith. Spirituality. Longevity.

The men and women at the forefront were leading the trend against the Big Hustle Culture Machine.

We’d be foolish not to take notes.

They’re just tools.

No, not my friends.

The very things we have at our disposal- content, fitness trackers, productivity apps.

They’re aids in our pursuits, not religious doctrine.

Your Notion calendar is supposed to help you stay organized, not inject you with 500cc’s of cortisol because you skipped over your Friday afternoon KPIs review.

YouTube business guys are awesome and super accomplished, but they’re guides you choose, not prophets.

I'll leave this with an anecdote:

I love my Oura Ring.

It helps me see my recovery, my sleep, even when I might be starting to get sick.

But did I have to “check my stats” the Sunday morning after running around St. Pete til 3AM?

Of course not.

Obviously the sleep score was brutal.

I knew I had a HR spike at 1AM when a group of guys let me rip a couple of manuals on their skateboard when we were in-between bars (growing up on Rodney Mullen 411VM vids never does leave you..)

Use the tools you’re given, don’t let the tools use you.

In Closing

According to my subscriber map (yeah we get one lol), the majority of you are snowed in right now.

Just long enough for that little voice to start poking at you.

“When this clears up, I gotta do this, I’ll be behind on that..”

(I thought we spoke about this!)

Maybe there’s some optimizooor bro on IG who has a very different opinion on how to spend your time snowed in.

That’s great.

What’s greater is taking care of the human engine underneath so it doesn’t run hot, catch fire, and burn down calamitously.

Usually we end with a song here, but I’ll attach an appropos playlist a lot of my friends enjoyed.

Listen to it, vibe out, whatever it may be.

Occupying a brain space that’s totally yours and aligned with your inner state is a fun place to be, and if you can achieve that?

Well…

…..you might’ve just learned a new skill 🫣

Stay warm, stay safe.

🫶🏻

-John Abbate

1.25.2026

Alright, more than half.

Still, that’s crazy.

The reports on the ground on my chaotic, beloved Long Island are what you’d expect:

Social media is awash with people fear-mongering and lamenting the snow.

I figured I’d lessen the burden here (as a longtime vet of many a blizzard) and share a little list that’ll make the most of your nature-given stay indoors.

Also….before anyone says “Easy for the Florida Man to say..”

1. I’m gonna do all this too this weekend in solidarity (with examples)

2. I’m extremely bummed I’m missing out (more on that later)

Now let’s have a little fun.

1. Relish the fact that this is normal!

It depends on how old you are, but the odds are that you’ve lived through most of the following: terrorist attacks/gigantic blackouts/mass protests in your city/life-altering hurricanes/a global pandemic.

The usual “rush to the grocery store and fret” runs that are wrought with anxiety should have that same emotion lessened by the fact what we’re experiencing this time is a normal natural occurrence that both pre-dates us by millennia and will out live us by likely that same length of time.

Insane black swan events are truly traumatic.

A foot or two of snow is not.

2. Read that book.

You know the one I’m talking about.

You bought it ~18 months ago, it’s pretty hardcover jacket has been glaring back at you from it’s throne on the bookshelf, oozing guilt into your hindbrain every time you two make eye contact.

Read that mf.

The universe has decided it’s time.

Personally, I’ll be reading Meditations by Marcus Aurelius and practicing my mean mug in the mirror while you normies gorge on hot chocolate and cookies.

In all seriousness, I’m going to reread a book I was gifted to by someone in my inner circle:

That’s right.

A book on how acting like a rhinoceros can further yourself in life.

Super quick and digestible, and spoke to my male animal brain.

Either I get a nice boost in my endeavors from the the second time around, or I turn into Cam Skattebo.

Guess we’ll find out soon enough.

3. Shameless Self-Indulgence

Absolutely nobody liked the kid in school who showed up the day after a snow day with his homework done.

I don’t care if he’s splitting the atom now or designing the airplanes that we love to track and stare at, that’s walking L behavior.

So grab whatever it is that floats your boat (in some cases, I truly don’t want to know) and have some fun.

Need ideas?

Got you:

• Curate a a playlist (btw for my Spotify friends- it only counts if you make custom cover art for it, not the bland quadrant of album covers)

• Go down a conspiracy rabbit hole (new to this? Google “Denver Airport” and have fun from there)

• Cook that big bad banger of a meal from that recipe you bookmarked on TikTok 4 months ago (whoever lives with you will love you for it)

• Mess around on Polymarket

• Get insanely deep into the lore of whatever band/series/artist is near and dear to your heart (put Stan Twitter to shame)

There’s a zillion examples.

Tune out the “this would be a really great time to do XYZ” voice and just launch into whatever your heart desires.

I’ll be indulging in every second of UFC 324 tomorrow night.

Six whole weeks we went without fights…Dana you owe us some fireworks.

4. Notice your lack of FOMO

Ah, this is the pretty one.

Almost as pretty as those fresh snowfall scenes we’ll see all over this weekend.

Basically everyone is going to be trapped inside this weekend.

There’s no IG stories to scroll, no inner-loop of “who’s doing what”, what couples look happy in their story, what couples don’t, who is where and wearing what, “should I have gone to that”, “who’s arm is in his/her story across from the table at the restaurant”….zero.

All that BS will be on pause.

Isn’t it kind of…refreshing?

We all put so much stock (even unknowingly) into what others are doing.

Rare moments like these let us “live inside ourselves” a little bit more.

It’s going to feel really good.

As for me?

I’ll be a raging hypocrite:

Be sure to send me whatever you got, I’m a big fan of the juxtaposition of traffic lights/modern infrastructure with intense weather in photos, just saying.

5. Throw a Snowball.

Bro, really…

Yeah, really.

What, you’re too cool?

Just pick one up, pat it into formation (not too icy) and let it rip.

Desired targets should be a tree or a stop sign, or a human you know (family/ significant others/friends are all fair game, FYI)

Obviously leave the moving cars alone.

If you scoffed at this last point, you’re probably the person that needs it the most.

It’s silly, harmless, and a reminder not to take all of this (or yourself) so seriously.

Nobody’s judging you from the sidelines, or analyzing your hip-to-shoulder separation while you throw it.

(You’re not Yoshi Yamamoto and neither am I 🥲)

It’s a classic exercise of symbolic release.

Think less “abject nihilism” and more “reconnecting with your inner child”.

Just make sure that release point is out in front of you with the hands atop the snowball (I’ll stop)

Go Forth and Enjoy

That’ll do it for today.

The goal here was for this not to be productivity cringe like 5 Ways to Optimize Your Snow Day!! or preachy influencer-adjacent BS.

Substack’s too littered with that these days.

I much prefer things “practical and weird”, which is probably what you were expecting anyway.

Anyhow.

These types of scenarios are rare, so why not make the most of them?

Goals, dreams, problems, to-do lists…

They’ll always be there.

As for the snow?

It always melts.

(no matter how much you get this weekend)

Love you all.

-John Abbate

1.23.2025

Happy New Year, friends. Hope everyone had a safe and fun entry into 2026.

I’ve always held the belief that if you have an edge or feel confident in your research or information you’ve studied, you have an obligation to share it with those who deserve it.

So- here’s a breakdown of 5 things I believe we’ll see more of in life during ‘26.

It’s a bit weird, completely chronically online, and outside the box.

(Let’s face it- if you wanted normalcy, you’d read elsewhere)

Enjoy <3

There’s a myriad of New Year’s content online, whether it’s IG Reels, TikToks, Threads, X.

As usual, there’s awesome creators (especially here on Substack) with viewpoints and actionable advice that’s extremely helpful.

However, the bulk of New Year’s content?

Let’s keep it real- not so much.

Trending like everything else in this world, there seems to be a schism, yet another broad divide.

You either are subjected to overdone productivity mantras (10K steps a day! Drink water! Everybody who goes out and has fun is destroying their goals!) or Nihilism-tier existential crisis content about blackout texting your “situationship” at midnight.

I’m not here to lecture or to spiral.

I’m just a guy who is a veteran of countless 3AM rabbit holes, a constant IRL observer, and the owner of an absolutely bizarre (yet oddly accurate) fyp algo.

We’ll break these five into categories: Digital, Health, Financial, Social, and of course..a wildcard at the end.

Let’s start this year off right.

The Digital World

It’s not so cringe now, is it?

When you create (especially on TikTok), you’re going to get your fair share of WTF are you doing comments.

I’m not so naive as to think my own Substack hasn’t been mocked or “hate read” at certain points.

Cost of doing business for placing yourself out there in the digital realm.

However, the true cost of not building an online presence far outweighs whatever mockery you might endure from people bedrotting or snarking in group chats.

As we usher in an age of sovereignty and increased autonomy (with AI looming- more on that later), a foothold in the increasingly alluring realm of digital real estate is going to be worth its weight in gold.

Look at any of the modern titans of industry (personal opinions of them be damned): Laila and Alex Hormozi, Naval Ravikant, Grant Cardone, yes…even Andrew Tate- and they’ll tell you that online presence and content creation is going to be a staple in the new digital economy we are rapidly hurtling towards.

Online proof of knowledge and influence in your industry will soon become something you submit with your resumé.

I get that this is shocking for those of us that entered the workforce a while ago, where your digital footprint was something you buried 10 feet deep when putting yourself out there- but things have completely flipped on their head.

^ (this does conjure up nostalgia about the college acceptance “Facebook pseudonym era”, for those that remember)

Moving into 2026, your digital footprint isn’t only something to keep active, it’s actually your moneymaker.

(Provided you weren’t active on the “blue and white subscription website” or selling photos of your feet…but I guess in those cases you wouldn’t need another job, would you?)

Social

Authenticity over AI Slop

The AI boom has been immensely helpful for business and productivity, but the second order social effects have been something else.

We’re already incredibly insulated after 2020, and seems as if that social shell sadly is never going to crack.

Digital continues to stampede over IRL in every form of life, but up until a year or so ago, at least our communication was real.

Now?

Guys are posting “the dreaded HR-speak breakup texts” on Twitter where the woman sending them forgets to delete the ChatGPT “thought for 3.2 seconds” at the top of the paragraph.

That’s right- your internal emails and memos, invitations, appointment reminders, and notifications of romantic termination are all being handled by your AI overlords.

(But never this Substack ever ever ever and I promise that 🤝🏻)

The result of all this?

Somebody who can crush IRL can clean up.

This might sound insane to anyone born let’s say anywhere pre-2004, but it’s the truth.

Behavior that “came with the standard package” 10 or 15 years ago is now worth it’s weight in gold.

Can you talk on the phone, like pick up the phone and call a friend or order takeout?

Can you handle either being a patron or a client-facing role with grace and no internal hysteria?

Do you prefer congregating at restaurants and lounges over couches and basements?

If most of these were Yes, 2026 is likely going to feel as if the world is your oyster.

The value of an IRL, authentic communicator (this also counts for digital creators) will skyrocket in a world where most people either lost the ability or never had it, and most content being produced and read is cranked out by OpenAI and not another human’s brain.

Financial

Getting bull-rushed by AI, and the prediction market boom

This section probably won’t be too exciting, but it needs stating.

Us chronically online types often forget we’re being fed by algorithms that know what we like and what we’re into.

We find ourselves in like-minded echo chambers where thoughts, beliefs, and views far outside the regular norm seem commonplace to us.

This is why I’m a huge advocate of the sort of creepy (but totally helpful) act of public eavesdropping.

98% of your peer group is using ChatGPT to tell them what Harry Potter house they’d be in, or to generate an image of their last-place fantasy football finisher in a dress.

Sometimes they’ll use it to write an email (or that aforementioned breakup text from Twitter), but aside from that, the layperson on the street has no idea how strong and capable these tools are.

Without turning this into a classic business Substack “10 Ways AI is Going to Change the Workforce in 2026” type deal, just know that the machines are coming…and coming fast.

We also spoke about the rise of prediction markets last time out, and it’s all but guaranteed those will become ubiquitous.

I guess the upside is that it’ll come with increased geopolitical interest across the general population?

TL;DR- Towards the end of the year, don’t be shocked to see friends wagering their severance package from a low-intensity email job on the elections of a small Central America nation.

That’s an absurd sentence, I know…but it’ll be an even more absurd reality.

Healthy Haves and Have-nots

We spend a lot of time at the gym over here.

I’ve seen the evolution of gym culture over a decade+ now, and with the integration of social media and the effects of online fitness content, I feel pretty confident in predicting a significant divide in the general public in regards to physical fitness.

Just a few days ago, a friend and business partner of mine had me out as a guest to Lifetime (if you don’t know what it is, think GloboGym meets bougie L.A. rehab facility) for a post-Christmas workout.

A man in his 60’s working on the cable stack next to us struck up a conversation, and after we inquired about the unique bicep exercise he was doing, he proudly told us he learned it from TikTok.

Fitness has become an all-consuming realm, very much an “in or your out” cultural construct. Those that partake are inundated with content about it, and eagerly consume it.

This makes it all the more appealing to those who are in it, and equally as intimidating to outsiders.

Without repeating the article I wrote months ago, the gym used to just be something you did.

Now, with gym fits, hundreds of different splits, new supplement companies sprouting up daily…it’s become a giant fraternity.

As with anything else in modern life, from political opinions to fandoms to content that gets views- there seems to be no more middle ground.

The density is in the extremes.

Couple this with the fact that we’re more isolated and sedentary than ever, the increased cost of whole, healthy foods, and the proliferation of legal weed and other personal dopamine factories, don’t be surprised to see the appearance of individuals start to morph into a personal fitness binary system: you’re either in serious shape, or you’re seriously out of shape.

There will also be fractional downstream social effects of this as well (probably could be a whole ‘nother article).

I don’t think I gotta say what team you should try and get on 😉

Anyway, let’s wrap with a wildcard.

Are you ‘Looksmaxxing’, anon?

“I knew he was going to bring up something weird"

Well, here it is.

Looksmaxxing has become all the rage on the internet, a trend borne out of “incel forums” in the 10’s that hyperfocused on male facial and bone structure and how that applies to one’s life trajectory.

You want a second after reading that last sentence? Take one.

Anyway, yeah. Looksmaxxing hype is real and tangible, so much so that it even was brought up in the Wall Street Journal four days ago.

This isn’t your standard “eat healthy, go to the gym” type personal appearance improvement content.

These men come armed with their own jargon, know every bone in the human face, and ruthlessly rate one another based on such outlandish traits as “midface ratio” and brow structure.

This has especially come to prominence with the rise of online creator Clavicular, a 19 year old college dropout from Miami who gained notoriety after documenting his own looksmaxxing journey….which consisted of multiple jaw surgeries, leg lengthening height procedures, and so many steroid cycle blasts that he openly worries about his own fertility.

Ever since this trend started to boom, throes of young men have hit up Sephora (and their local gym’s locker room black market) looking to “ascend” so that they deem themselves attractive enough for romantic and career success.

There’s just too much energy and a perfect storm of societal circumstances to see this trend dying down any time soon.

When you female readers (love you guys) have friends calling you wondering why they’re fighting off high school boys for the setting spray and concealer at the mall in 4 months, don’t forget to tell them you heard it here first (and to subscribe).

As for any younger guys reading this?

I’ve been playing the game (and gotten damn good at it) for awhile.

The amount of times a girl told me she liked my “hunter eyes”?

(yes I couldn’t resist running my own face through AI to test it, shoot me)

Zero.

Contrarily, if I had a dollar for every time I was told “it’s cool how you kinda play by your own rules in life”?

I could buy the next girl dinner.

It’s more about what you are than what you look like.

Sephora’s still valid, tho.

Just buy normal stuff, like a good moisturizer.

Wrapping Up

All things considered, I’m excited for 2026.

I never want to doomerpoast on here, because with an ever-changing, unprecedented social/digital environment also comes massive opportunity.

It just so happens that modern times and the accompanying trends have mutated into never before seen realms and amalgamations we never though possible.

It is, if nothing else, a lot of fun.

Maybe these 5 predictions hold, maybe they won’t (they will).

That being said, if your aunt claims “you’re in a cult” because you’re prioritizing leg day tomorrow?

If your friend who does tarot card readings as a hobby blows up to 100K followers and banks multi-five figure months?

If your 15 year old cousin begs you to drive him to the mall because he hit the “total rounds” under for the UFC main event on Polymarket and he wants to stock up on Glossier’s Super Glow?

Just remember you heard it all here first.

Things are moving quickly out there.

We’re gonna have a lot of fun in ‘26.

Happy New Year, and love always.

-John Abbate

1.3.2026

Let’s start off hot:

Betting the Rent on the Politics of Developing Nations

Prediction markets have become all the rage lately.

Last week, 60 Minutes profiled Shayne Coplan, the NYU tech wiz founder of Polymarket, a giant in the brand-new prediction market space.

Prediction markets have become wildly popular, even as they’re still in their Wild West/Gold Rush phase despite increasing steps towards full-fledged legitimacy (the waitlist for their U.S. app opened this week).

Polymarket (and their primary competitor, Kalshi) offer the standard wagers you would expect: who wins the Super Bowl, ‘26 World Cup odds, etc.

There’s also the innocuous and peculiar:

However, prediction market cultured has started to shine a light upon (and completely gamify) things that, up until recently, didn’t occupy any space in the average American brain at all.

Two of the highest-grossing betting pools on Polymarket involve…the political instability or elections of developing nations:

Not to be insensitive, but even 5 or 6 years ago?

The average American likely wasn’t even thinking about Honduras or Venezuela, let alone holding a vested interest in their political climates.

Now?

A $39MM pool (at time of writing) combined weighs in the balance on a medium that was an entirely foreign concept just a few years ago.

The crazy wagers don’t end there:

This is where things get really interesting, albeit ghoulish in the same moment.

It’s a blatant ethical conundrum- wagering ones hard-earned money on events that pretty much guarantee a loss of human life.

(The 60 Minutes spot- to their credit- did bring this point up too re: wagering on California wildfire durations)

This is where the “unseriousness” comes in, and it also ties into an overarching thesis I’ve had since I began writing on Substack (basically, our lives are turning into Ready Player One at an alarming rate, and there’s no stopping it).

We’ve taken the humanity out of ourselves in search of financial gain.

Legitimate violence, quests for power, or the social media habits of our billionaire class overlords have become spectacle, digital bread and circuses for our own potential gain and amusement.

It sets a strange precedent, much akin to the SkyNet machines taking over in Terminator- what happens when the new tech runs wild?

(Hopefully it doesn’t end up like that, but still)

Taking a step back and looking at the bigger picture, prediction market culture was inevitable.

Look at your average NFL Sunday today compared to ten years ago.]

A decade ago? Your friend shows up, clad in a Jets jersey (poor thing) and pulls for his team.

Now? The players on the field are his digital and financial mercenaries:

“I need this guy to go over 80 yards, I need more than 3 punts by the 4th quarter”

The ubiquity of sports gambling (which really should be an entire topic for another day) walked so that prediction market culture could run.

We’ve lost whatever innocence we had left through the proliferation of betting culture.

Let’s look at what could happen tomorrow:

The Eagles can win on Monday Night Football, and Israel/Palestine could pop off again.

Again, to use the lens of ten years ago, the expected reaction would be:

“Oh, that’s terrible they’re fighting again..and didn’t the Eagles win last year? It’s time for somebody else.”

Now?

“I had Saquon Over 100 yards and I had 0.5 ETH on rockets hitting Gaza, so I had a pretty good day!”

It’s the new normal, while simultaneously being anything but.

Meme Coin Mania

Crypto is getting nuked at the moment, but if you’ve been reading awhile, you know we’re heavy in that game over here.

Much like Polymarket, the crypto/meme coin trenches couldn’t possibly care less for decorum.

I actually personally made a little windfall at the end of ‘24 on $PNUT, a meme coin (with absolutely zero utility) named after the pet squirrel euthanized by New York State.

There’s a meme coin for anything and everything.

An untimely celebrity death?

A viral embarrassing moment? (don’t look at what coin jumped when Tyson’s boxing shorts slipped when fighting Jake Paul..)

Some girl goes viral on the “SEC Burnerverse” for some questionable conduct?

There’s a meme coin for it all.

It’s another example of the terminally online x financial gain duo meeting opportunism x absurdity.

The insensitivity and secondhand effect be damned.

Now’s No Time for Moral Grandstanding

In no way, shape, or form am I condemning either of these things.

(I just told you guys I’m a meme coin degenerate)

I’ve used these tools to profit in my own life (though sadly I did break an 8 PPV main event win streak last night with Piotr Yan’s upset of Long Island’s own Merab Dvalishvili), and it’s in my opinion that you’d be silly not to.

Should you stay away from betting on global bloodshed?

Of course. We’re believers in karma over here.

However, prediction markets allow for each and every person to profit off of their unfair advantage.

This isn’t 1998 where you have to call off a payphone (for opsec) to some Paulie Walnuts-esque character standing outside an OTB to get your picks in before the 1PM kick-off’s.

(Also idk why I’m talking like I knew what that was like, I was literally a child)

Anyway- unfair advantages.

Sure, you might not know if the Bills defense can hold off Drake Maye, or if Gaethje will able to overwhelm Paddy Pimblett in the next UFC main event (fwiw, he will).

You might have an inclination as to when the next album from your favorite artists drops, or how an election from a small nation you have relatives in goes, or what happens to your favorite character on the show you’re streaming.

The chances are there to exploit the knowledge of whatever it is you obsess about.

Why not use it?

The Bigger Picture (and The Great Liberation)

It’s pretty tempting to see what is going in modern financial and online culture and want to bury your head in the sand, especially if you don’t already have skin in the game.

That’s understandable, but you’d be losing sight of the bigger picture in the process, and we don’t want that.

You don’t have to download a Phantom wallet and buy Franklin the Turtle coin or wager whether “AI” or NVIDIA CEO Jensen Huang will be Time’s Person of the Year.

Rather, look at it on a macro scale.

We’ve become a nation of scrollers and brainrotters, treating headlines like moneylines and creating digital money effigies of the deceased and distressed.

We retreat into parasocial relationships and streaming services as a quasi-refuge, quelling the effects of absurd digital life with..more absurd digital life.

I would say that “normal” is shrinking, but I actually think that normal has all but ceased to exist.

Our Unserious World = A Release Valve

Once you accept that normalcy has been shown the door, the whole game gets lighter.

The pressure dissolves.

If everything (markets, politics, culture, even our own coping mechanisms) has become memed and gamified, then the only losing move is pretending we’re still living in some buttoned up, rule-bound society where everyone is watching and judging your every move.

They’re not.

They’re doomscrolling, checking odds, checking charts, and posting anonymously in TikTok comment sections.

(I’ll never support dancing on graves, but the death of the “permission structure” has been glorious to watch.)

So post the content, write the blog or the tweet thread, start the side hustle, whatever it may be.

Worrying about optics or public perception (save for truly insane behavior) is a fool’s errand.

What’s the worst that can happen?

You’re looked at as weird, strange, a rule-breaker, terminally online, or an outlier?

As we head into 2026, that just means you fit right in.

You can bet on that.

Be well 🫶🏻

-John Abbate

7.12.2025

Today we’re going to take a nice little deep dive into brainrot.

You’ve got it, I’ve got it, we’ve all got it.

But where is this short form, attention span-nuking trend leading us, and what can we do about it?

I’m not so sure I have the exact answer…but it’s certainly an entertaining topic to look into.

When I first started creating TikToks I wanted to become better at it.

I was initially shocked to discover that the bulk of this “how-to” content emphasized that the first second (called the hook) is far and away the most important part of short form content.

Like, make or break important.

All you really have is that glorious first fleeting second to grab the viewer.

That is how short the average attention span in this world is right now.

If you’re anything like me, you wonder how the hell did we get here?

I mean, less than a second to rope the viewer in…..but taking a step back, it makes sense.

Reels, TikToks, the rise of short-form media, it lends itself to where we are now.

We’re a nation of people that want to scroll and scroll and scroll, and if those first few fractions of a second don’t immediately captivate us, we’re on to the next thing- a cat video, some basketball trick shot (mostly all fake btw) or yes, the 6-7 meme.

I mean, the 6-7 meme…it literally means nothing, but at the same time it says so much.

Its everywhere.

People cheering in In-N-Out restaurants when order 6-7 is called, groups of kids screaming for a foul shot to be hit at college basketball games when the score is at 66.

It’s just crazy, and it’s become an obsession.

There was even a “6-7 Cam” the last time I went to an Islanders game, and the kids couldn’t wait to get on there and do the bobbing hands motion that accompanies it.

Of course, like any other craze, there’s dissidents and dissertations on it as well.

I’ve even seen long-form tweet threads (which now seem like encyclopedias in length compared to where we are in the media consumption culture) that claim that 6-7 is born out of Santeria practices and is actually satanic.

I don’t know. I’m not going to dive into that today.

The fact of the matter is now brainrot is (and has been) so culturally significant that it invades our public spaces, dominates trends, and even invites kooky conspiracy culture into the fray all at once.

It used to be albums and movies that led to such things…most of us are old enough to remember poring over “What Hogwarts House am I in?” Buzzfeed quizzes (Gryffindor/Slytherin hybrid reporting in), now we have “is the innocuous brainrot number trend actually Gematria devil worship” threads on X to contend with.

That’s quite a leap.

You’ve Got It, I’ve Got It, We’ve All Got It

I used to think, especially as a guy that writes long-form media, that I was somehow above being brainrotted.

“Well, I read and I write, so certainly this can’t be me.”

lol.

Then I find myself (not to be crude) standing over the toilet, with one hand handling business and the other hand watching an Alex Hormozi IG Reel.

That’s right… doing something so simple as a quick pit stop in the bathroom, and I can’t help but get yelled at by a man in a tank top and a nose strip telling me to 10x my content output for maximum traction (no knock btw, we love Hormozi over here).

It’s a giant amoeba enveloping all of us, albeit to varying degrees.

Brainrot= $$$

No matter who you are, odds are that your attention span has been fried (or at the very least greatly diminished).

Fried, but also put on a pedestal in this attention economy.

Our eyes and ears are more valuable than ever, all the while less capable than ever in the same moment.

Brands are leaning into brainrot style advertising, as we spoke about over Halloween.

Sports teams have followed suit- just take a look at the Buffalo Bills IG after they win (might have to wait awhile for that these days) and you’ll see absolutely hilarious but also totally bizarre brainrot style postgame edits.

Sharing Reels on Instagram has become both a constant annoyance but also a sort of love language all in the same.

As cumbersome as the “4+ messages” alert is in the inbox, it’s also sort of endearing when your friends see a Reel up your alley and shoot it over to you (in my case this is dashcam recordings, freight train derailments, and of course, planes).

Massive social media platforms know short-form is their ticket, and the brands who pay them into the billions to advertise on there are well aware of this, too.

The importance of this?

Short-form isn’t going anywhere anytime soon…and therefore neither is brainrot and ensuing assault on your attention span.

The Kids Aren’t Alright

There was a brainrot-related horror story making the rounds on X about a month ago, where a poster realized his Gen Alpha cousin would simultaneously play video games and scroll TikTok during the loading screens.

Dopaminergic overload.

Those of us with the luxury of being born before somewhere around the time of Hurricane Katrina at least had an attention span to be nerfed in the first place.

Our next generations won’t have such a luxury.

It’ll be interesting to see how that plays out.

The early indicators don’t seem so pretty.

FYP Linguistics

One of the funniest yet also alarming effects of the brainrot wave is the tidal wave of colloquial phrases that have been borne out of it.

There’s the absurd yet harmless:

6-7, Ohio, “chat”, low-taper fades

The ones with adult undertones (whole ‘nother topic for another day) :

gyatt, glazing, the hawk tuah craze from a couple years ago, etc.

and finally, ones that might have real staying power:

Rizz, sigma, huzz.

It’s an entire spectrum of a language that would’ve read like alien speak just 5 years ago.

(For the record, it’s in my professional opinion that “huzz” and its related amalgamations and portmanteaus are incredible)

Lighthearted and funny as this topic may be, it also shows how pervasive brainrot has become and the deep-rooted affect it has on our youngest generations.

It’s become so strong it’s banned in your average American classroom:

Short-form lingusitics are burnt into the culture, embedded in the brains of our youth in their most formative years.

Man’s on tag at the moment

It’s not just an American thing.

I found a TikTok recently that stuck out to me- it was both hilarious and kinda sad at the same time.

It featured a fifteen (!) year old kid from Manchester who, after presumably spending most of his early development influenced by his fyp and brainrot culture, was speaking like a hardened London roadman and bragging about the fact he was already strapped up with an ankle monitor:

@brodiewallsxMans on tag #manchester #fyp #explore

Tiktok failed to load.

Enable 3rd party cookies or use another browser

An extreme outlier? Probably.

Still, it begs the question how many other current or budding “man’s on tag” guys there are out there in the moment.

Choosing obviously questionable lifestyle choices both for the admiration and as a consequence of short-form feed culture.

Books and Bicycles

Alright…so what do we do?

I’d like to think a lot of the advice on this ‘stack is pretty useful (and from speaking with a lot of you, I actually know that for a fact) but we’re gonna eschew the analytical and citeable and go more anecdotal here.

Think less Huberman labs and perhaps Laird Hamilton pontificating in front of a surfboard staked in the sand type vibe.

On Reading a Book

You see a lot about reading on the feeds lately.

Reading has become “female-coded”, and a lot of reading is performative.

The former is definitely true, the latter obviously debatable.

Almost every woman I know IRL, regardless of age, is reading some sort of book at the moment.

Usually pretty substantial stuff, too- educational content, dense non-fiction….it’s a habit to be admired.

(Of course, there’s also the odd book about having sex with a guy that’s half minotaur or something like that, but we’ll “let people enjoy things” and not touch that…but to the guys- you still think you don’t gotta get in the gym?!)

I figured the ladies must be onto something, so I decided to join the ranks of the readers (shoutout my first visit to Huntington’s The Next Chapter, much appreciated as a Book Revue refugee) and picked up a copy of Gregory Zuckerman’s autobiography of the late great Long Island-based hedge fund manager Jim Simons.

Def teetered on a performative pick here (and I got the this f—-n’ guy look from the cashier) but I digress.

What did I notice from diving into my stereotypical bro finance book?

My brainrot eased up quite a bit.

Snapchat blurbs?

They could wait.

Checking the last ‘Tok’s stats?

It became less interesting.

The ever-present calling of the fyp, with its workouts and conspiracy theories and leftover remnants of SEC school Halloween posts (sorry)?

Became less enticing.

Something about pacing yourself to read the written word soothed the urge to hop back on the dopamine treadmill.

I’ve also noticed this with handwriting my shopping lists.

Torn-off pieces of printer paper don’t have notifications.

All of a sudden, your only adversaries of distraction when strolling Whole Foods become nerding out on the supplement aisle and Lululemon Vuori moms, and not the abyss of the fyp.

So go ahead- pick up that physical copy of WWII history or legacy finance or minotaur trysts (if you must) and see if it works for you.

The Bike

Cardio is awesome.

You need it, I need it, the freaks of nature we watch in the Octagon on Saturday nights need it, and everyone in between.

I’m not gonna make this “omg get 10K steps a day and eat protein” regurgitated slop- rather I’m gonna extoll the virtues of my $120 Facebook Marketplace purchase that everyone loves to make fun of.

I had been an adherent to the treadmill to get my LISS/HIIT dose, but even that came with the rotting-adjacent AirPods and YouTube combo.

You don’t have that option on the bike.

Sure, you can plug in a long-form podcast and go.

But you need your eyes on the road and the path ahead to focus on such things as not running into other people and not getting hit by a car and dying.

It takes you off the screen and in touch with your body in a way your favorite fitness influencer’s “stepmill and Netflix” combo never could.

Long live the bike.

Your body (and brain) will thank you.

Lastly..the next person to ask me “aRe yOu GoNnA gEt a bElL foR iT? 🤪” better be able to gain or lose the adequate weight to meet me at 90 kilos.

Leave me alone!

@johnabbatebest $120 I ever spent #biketok #fittok #creatorsearchinsights #substack

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Signing off

That was a fun topic to dive into.

Maybe these little tips help, maybe they don’t.

I bet they will.

We certainly live in unprecedented times…at least it’s not boring.

Lastly, if you’ve made it this far..your brainrot isn’t nearly as bad as you think.

That’s impressive!

Maybe you’ll impress the opposite sex, the anti-brainrot crowd.

Some Abhuzz.

(I’ll see myself out)

Be well 🫶🏻

-John Abbate

23.11.2025

Today I’m going to talk about a “rebrand” of sorts, a direction I’m taking the content in here that I’m sure will come across as both interesting and wholly unsurprising all at once.

As I take this in a new direction, I’d love to hear back from you guys on TikTok and Instagram 💪🏻

We gotta pivot in here.

The new layout? This cool font I found in the editing dashboard?

None of this is by mistake, my friend.

I’ve been thinking of “niche-ing down” for some time now, but I didn’t want it to feel forced or like I was putting restrictions on myself.

As someone who abhors rules, this means the Substack wouldn’t have lasted very long afterwards should I have chosen that path.

That being said, pinging around from writing about business and crypto to cultural observations and then to something more health related felt…convoluted.

It was tough to really feel as if this was gaining any sort of traction, growing subscriber count notwithstanding (love you all).

Some soul-searching, YouTubing, etc. led me to ask the all important question:

What do people ask you for?!

I think this might’ve come from Gary V, but I’d have to pore through weeks and weeks of Lock-In related search history, and that’s a needle in a haystack type scenario.

Anyhow, it’s an incredibly simple and effective framework for realizing your own utility in this world.

So let’s dive into the question at hand:

On the Topic of “Focal Pointing”

It’s been over two plus years now that I wake up to an ungodly amount of text messages on the weekend.

Sure, some of it is the usual expectations: memes, drunken rants or shit talk sent to me while I was sleeping, group chats popping of, NSFW, etc.

It was a typical Florida Saturday morning about 4 months ago when I was sipping a Vanilla Diet Coke the size of my head and using the ensuing caffeine rush to sift through my gargantuan inbox when I shared a screenshot of my messages app with some obscene number in the red bubble with someone very close to me.

The response I got?

“You’ve become a focal point. Now what are you going to do with it?”

Alas, Focal Pointing was born.

So…what were they asking for?

Funnily enough, nobody was asking me to pump out an Excel spreadsheet or asked for tips on organizing their WFH desk.

Probably because I absolutely suck at those things.

What was there actually?

John, what do I…..

-Eat.

-Wear

-Say to my bf/gf/wife/husband

-get through this panic attack

-get through this stressful period at work

-attack this problem I’m having

-give this public speech

-not feel bogged down by a recurring issue

and of course, the once every 6 weeks or so I’m literally going to lose it and commit myself to an institution and you need to talk me off the ledge NOW.

^ Those are kinda scary but also very fulfilling to work through.

The vision became a lot clearer when I scrolled through my text history.

Where we’re headed

This whole Substack because I had a difficult time during Covid both with people around me and how the general world was reacting.

Having a safe haven to create and air out my voice was cathartic and interesting.

Writing on politics, society, and the general public came the most naturally, it’s what fascinated me (and I’ll still do this on Sunday Essays), but what seemed to resonate with people actually reading this was writing about mindset, energy, glow-ups, and telling stories about life.

So that’s the lane we’ll take.

Give the people what they want.

It just so happens those are the articles and topics I’m most passionate about writing, too.

Funny how that works…almost as funny as having the answer underneath your nose the entire time.

Chat again soon.

Love,

John Abbate

17.11.2025

Sometimes things happen in the cultural zeitgeist that launch a thousand thinkpieces.

You don’t always want to chase the trend, but every so often one hits a nerve deep enough that you have to weigh in yourself.

That’s exactly happened this week with British Vogue’s tactical nuke of an article:

Much as I don’t love the term unpack, there’s…a lot to unpack here.

Sure, I’m not a dating woman, but I still consider myself pre-qualified enough to speak on this.

I’ve spent a lot of time as a boyfriend in this life, (probably a lot more than the average bear) and it dates back a long ways now.

Also, and this might shock some people (though you guys shouldn’t be too surprised), I’ve had a Vogue subscription for years.

Yeah, that Vogue…and yes, I even have the tote bag they used to give out to new subscribers.

The tote bag has been with me long enough that it once made me look pretty cultured, but here in 2025 it apparently makes me a “performative male,” whatever that means.

It’s a major bucket list item, far-fetched as it may be, to have dinner with Anna Wintour (racing with Anja Rubik…).

Anyway, Vogue.

The gravitas of the September issue, the Super Bowl-level cultural importance of the advertisements, Vogue is a case study in and of itself (clearly).

{You might ask why I never gravitated toward GQ.

I tried, it just never did it for me. I respect a few of their writers, like Jake Woolf and Emily Sundberg.

However, their overall vibe is a bit too catered to the “coastal urban man-child who gets his flu shot because his nagging mother told him so” type dude, in my opinion.

When you’re trying to channel the greats in your own little way (guys like Alain Delon, Paul Newman🐐, or the modern golden standard Jacob Elordi) you really don’t care about Russell Westbrook’s tunnel fits that look like he’s dressed for Easter Mass in 1978, or about having a closet full of “sick Jordan’s bro!!” when you’ve been out of PE class for over a decade.}

(I’ll let you guys decide for yourselves)

Back to the Article in Question

As a writer, straight up bashing another author just makes zero sense to me.

That’s not what we’re doing here, nor is it even necessary as I think Ms. Joseph actually does a lot of things well in her Vogue piece.

She references the changing of cultural norms, the effect of the increased presence of our digital selves, and the calamity that comes with deleting an ex off of social media.

The latter part hits home, as it’s a path I’ve traveled more than a couple of times.

You know the feeling- when friends’ WAG’s (often with nothing better to do) notice via their scrolling and stalking that a certain someone is absent from your recent posts and stories.

The token poking and prodding of your boy ensues, who then pulls you aside and needs to know details ASAP to appease the evergreen curiosity stewing at home:

“Hey, you’re not seeing so-and-so anymore?”
“Nah man.”
And that’s really it.

Is it awkward? Sure.

Is it part of the game? Yes.

Cost of doing business, so to say.

Anyway, it’s understandable that there’s an inherent aversion to this, especially amongst the younger generation and women in particular.

The social risk in the digital town square that comes with a long-term relationship can be a strong burden to bear from a person just starting to find out who they are in this world.

Tie that into the fact there’s the ubiquity of hookup culture and unlimited options for those that have access to it (dating apps and social media pour gasoline on this) and it becomes easier to understand the trepidation when it comes to showing a relationship online.

It’s how we got to the current meta of soft launches, hard launches, and situationships.

There’s also a prescient point made by Joseph, in that many women don’t feel as if they need a relationship to “complete” them, so to speak.

Anybody who has read this ‘Stack for more than a week knows we love authenticity and agency over here, so this was definitely an appreciated point.

Now, if so much of the article did land and resonate, what is the issue?

Well, there’s the oft-used used phrase the medium is the message.

I’d say in this case, the issue lies in the interpretation of the message, coupled with a lack of intellectual effort.

TikTok Brain & Taking Headlines to the Comment Section

Any TikTok creator will tell you the current average attention span is less than two seconds long.

It’s why we educate ourselves on hooks, perfect angles, and gotcha moments in order to reel in a viewer who would otherwise keep scrolling to the next cat video, GRWM, or whatever else there may be.

It’s the TikTokfication of the brain.

We have shorter attention spans than ever before.

(Cue Andrew Tate… Your mind has been FRIED!!)

Naturally, in this climate, social media took the title of this article and ran with it, assessment of content and nuance be damned.

It’s a big ask in the year 2025 to have people read an article, dissect it, and take it point by point to form their own opinions.

I’m a writer. I would know this.

The modern way is to just take what you see from a juicy headline and quickly spend the time you should spend analyzing and instead use it to infest comment sections left and right, armed to the teeth with opinions yet with none of the intellectual labor of loading the metaphorical gun in the first place.

Naturally, this is exactly what occurred with Is Having a Boyfriend Embarrassing Now?

The headline masterfully curated to stoke sociocultural fires was taken at face value.

Everyone gleaned the same thing:

Boyfriends were now embarrassing, boyfriends were now cringe.

It went even deeper than this, of course, appealing to the ever-present divide that we see in our everyday lives.

“Having a boyfriend feels Republican”

^ That was an exact quote the author extracted from a young woman who was interviewed in the article.

It’s tired, it’s sad, it’s the same old trope:

“Gasp! The bad people! Oh no, tell me I’m nothing like them!”

This is where the article and its ensuing reactions completely jump the shark.

Aside from the usual attempted unpersoning of half the nation (are we really still doing this), it reeks of coastal elitism and in-groupism that frankly pollutes our social culture.

These are the same girls who would look at you blankly for a whole ten business seconds when you ask what’s wrong with people having different political beliefs….then proceed to spend the night bedrotting and anonposting to r/NYCinfluencersnark roasting some poor girl (who’s got the balls to put herself out there and build a brand) all because she applied her foundation wrong in her last IG reel.

It’s all so truly upside down.

Anything popular culture and mainstream media tried to pump into young girls’ brains these days seems to boil down to this: don’t be cringe and don’t be a Republican.

How many of these types will find solace in the fact that, come age 40 with no family or children, at least they never tried hard at anything and didn’t vote for President Trump?

If the trends continue like this, we will one day find out.

Probably won’t be too pretty.

Let’s Get Out in Front of the Backlash

We often discuss in here about being kind and listening to people from all ends of the political spectrum.

This is a core belief.

I have friends with crazy viewpoints of all kinds, and I’d never cut somebody out based on what they believe.

That being said, I can only be honest about my experiences.

To do so otherwise betrays this publication entirely.

The blunt truth in my experience is that it’s the people who self-proclaim as the most progressive often have a seeming allergy to debate.

An M.O. of labeling and mocking those that disagree, then sprinting in the other direction.

They seem to believe this suffices as discourse.

It doesn’t.

This is being brought up because:

A. I don’t believe in echochambers in either direction, and

B. I can already hear the counterpoints being screamed in my direction:

You’re just interested, as a man, in controlling our bodies!

We don’t need men to be complete! (already went over this one)

What about the far-right, they said XYZ!

So maybe it’s time we establish some ground rules here, as well as peek over the fence.

Personal Proclivities and a Look at the Other Side

I understand different “eras” of life, as we call them now.

I’m in my Healing Era ✨ is a common refrain. It’s an understandable one, too.

Lots of people are in a stage of focusing on business or an aspect of life and don’t want to commit to a relationship they can’t give their all to.

Trust me, I get it- I’m in that very same season right now.

Bodily autonomy and deciding one’s own life path in my mind’s eye is a birth right.

It’s not about pushing people who don’t want to be tied down into relationships.

This isn’t one of those trad-adjacent get married and have children right now!! salvos that overpopulate the X timeline.

That side, however, did have a lot to say.

Let’s take a quick look at that and why it had an effect.

A Glimpse at the Right

If there’s the classic progressive hivemind with its phobia of debate and intolerance of any sort of consequence, naturally there was going to be the right-side overcorrection to balance things out.

In its freakout, there were claims that the Vogue article was anti-natalist, anti–nuclear family.

As with deleting your ex off your IG being “embarrassing”, there is hint of truth to that, but it doesn’t tell the whole story.

In many ways, perhaps the modern right and right-adjacent communities’ thinking helped create pieces like the Vogue Boyfriend article at hand.

Red-pill communities, religious guys interviewing OF girls on podcasts for the spectacle of it all…it’s worth a thought.

Lest we forget, this side has lost the plot in its own way.

Just take a look at the “tradwife” movement.

The tradwife aesthetic genuinely freaks me out, even in the odd moments it’s actually authentic.

(I’m talking literally makes the hair on my arms stand up freaks me out)

There’s something awfully culty and Harrison Butker-core about watching some girl churn homemade butter on TikTok and lecture her audience on “submitting to their man”.

When you see this type of content, how we got here starts to make a lot more sense.

Give Love a Chance!

Shoutout Cameo.

The point I’m trying to get at it here in the indulgence of cultural analysis isn’t about what to do, rather it’s about what to be open to.

Again (beating a dead horse here), you can’t tell people what to do, how to live, who to date.

As long as minors and animals aren’t getting hurt, who really cares?

But when we start cutting off or frowning upon the possibility of romantic relationships, one of life’s most enthralling, self-educational, and important aspects, we’ve lost ourselves.

You see this phenomenon, the drastically different encampments of beliefs and lifestyle, viewpoints on dating and relationships that are miles apart.

Many see divide.

I see it all as a cover.

And when do you use cover?

When you’re scared.

What Are You So Afraid of?

Romantic relationships are inherently risky.

They’re also as old as time.

We’re all here as a result of them-some that lasted for decades, some that are still going, and some that only lasted for a night.

Nonetheless, they predate us by millennia and will outlive us by millennia as well.

So why the obsession with what people are doing on the micro level?

Is it the fear of ending up like the “hometown Facebook” people?

Cheap suits and prom-adjacent dresses at catering hall weddings, Mickey Mouse ears and New Balances (not the cool ones) at Disney World…the world needs hometown Facebook people.

I saw on Facebook the other day an old colleague of mine from my first part-time job who has purple hair married a girl with… purple hair.

At the risk of sounding like your grandmother, every pot has a cover.

There are couples that bond over anything and everything.

I mean, there are probably couples out there that are Satanists, for crying out loud.

At least they’re giving it a go.

(Satanism is the one belief I gotta disavow, tho).

Maybe you want to have a blood-grafting ceremony with your one and only (which I oddly find super cool and romantic), à la Jim Morrison.. who cares?

Find somebody who’s down and go for it.

The beliefs, lifestyles, and systems are myriad, but the underlying energy of giving it a shot remains.

There’s no cringe in that, even if it falls out.

I’ve even said before that I’m not in a dating mode right now.

That being said, even in my stubborn idiocy, if I were to meet someone who really blows me away, then hey, we’re rolling with it and seeing where it goes.

The Cringey Outro

So, is deleting old photos of an ex because you had the guts to put your heart on the line cringe in the grand scheme?

Is posting or talking about somebody you truly love on social media really cringe?

Is the quest for love, (or the conquering of the quest for love) one of our most innate drives as humans…cringe?

I say no.

How about letting a potentially beautiful, flourishing relationship pass you by because you wanted to fit in at the Digital Cool Girls Table, backed by logic from a MSM legacy platform funded by the very same multinationals that profit from your solitude?

Well, that, my dear reader, would be cringe.

Written with a whole lotta love this time,

John Abbate

2.11.2025

P.S. if any of you make an album called The Digital Cool Girls Table, you owe me royalties.